Life

Deeply Confused Sloth Gets Rescued By Officers

by Dasha Fayvinova

I've never been able to put into words my irrational dislike of sloths, but I have always felt like I was in the minority. Today, everyone fell head over heels for a sloth who got rescued by police officers after being trapped in the middle of the highway, and I felt a lot of mixed emotions. To be clear, I understand why someone might find this creature to be cute — I just don't see those reasons ever applying to me. Liking sloths is on the same level as liking snakes or picking scabs in my book. Totally avoidable.

Not a lot of people share my opinion on these furry tree hugging weirdos. That's fine. I get that sometimes even I don't have a popular opinion, but honestly just look at their faces. No matter how many cops help them cross a busy intersection or major roadway I won't invite them into my home. No matter how scared they are from putting themselves in danger I won't let one touch my face with their razor sharp talons. I'm good. I am glad someone else helped this sloth out of his predicament. It must have been really scary for him to sit there with all those cars whooshing by. I have compassion for them as a species, but that about sums up our relationship.

I'm sure if more children's movies had sloth characters I would be more open to loving them. I used to watch Kim Possible thought that naked mole rats were super cute. Then one day I Googled what they looked like in real life and let me tell you...it was not the same cute pink lump staring back at me.

I'll keep watch the video of this sloth. Maybe it will stir some emotions in me. In the meantime, here are some highlights.

Where They Found Him

Looks like the little guy was found in Ecuador. He was clearly trying to cross the road and got a little too frightened. I feel like even I can relate to that. Sometimes we get scared in life and can't move on. Hopefully in our case that won't mean police involvement.

His Mental State

This is the look of someone who just wants you to step away from him. He's an independent entity that doesn't need any of your assistance. Actually, he 100 percent needs assistance. I'll give his props for the idea to sit in place and not move. He could have tried to cross the street and perished. He chose the right path.

The Hero

The man who rescued the sloth deserves a firm handshake and a pat on the back. Hopefully this little creature can go on living a normal life and considers himself lucky.