DJ Khaled Takes It Upon Himself To Empower Jeb

So, you know DJ Khaled, right? Former singer, current Snapchat and Instagram king, and the man credited with singlehandedly bringing the key emoji to the forefront. And you know Jeb Bush, right? Brother of George, son of another George, once tipped to win the Republican nomination, and now flailing beneath the Donald Trumps and Marco Rubios of the world. You probably didn't expect to hear these two men's names in the same sentence. But Khaled felt differently, starring in a Jimmy Kimmel sketch in which he suggests to Bush what his own "keys to success" might be.

"Jeb Bush, seems like you need some advice," Khaled explains. "I'mma give you the keys to success, and motivate you. Jeb Bush, I appreciate you. You a leader. You a Bush. Another one ... They don't want you to win, Jeb Bush! They don't want you to have breakfast! A healthy breakfast. A full green apple. That's the key. Apple! The key is to believe in yourself. The key is sneakers. You gotta water your plants, Jeb Bush. Nobody can water them for you. Don't let them water them for you. You water them for you! Another one. Be a player. Don't play yourself! And don't play basketball. That's not your sport, Jeb Bush."

Although Bush himself didn't appear in the sketch — and if I were to take a guess, nor did he endorse it — he did seem to enjoy it. On Thursday, he Tweeted an image of the sketch with the line, "Thanks @djkhaled — had my green apples for breakfast." But he made no mention of his plants, sneakers, or cocoa butter.