Sometimes you’re not sure what to do with your hands during sex. You could just lay them at your side but considering just how useful hands can be, in and out of the bedroom, it seems like a waste not to properly integrate them into your sex routine. You have hands for a reason, and I firmly believe it’s because of sex. Well, that, and eating pizza, of course.
Hands are tricky things. I know when I’m in social situations I spend a lot of time wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do with my hands. So, even if I’m not really drinking, I’ll hold a drink just to give my hands something to do. I often feel the same way about my arms, but that’s a whole other story that I’ll spare you. I think the problem might be that hands are capable of so many things, so it’s hard to figure out what exactly to do with them, especially during sex. You’re working with two entire bodies on which your hands can run wild and crazy, but yet sometimes you can’t help but be overwhelmed so you don’t really use them to the best of their capability. But those days are about to be over.
If you’re someone who often stares at your hands wondering what purpose they serve in the bedroom, here are nine ideas of how to keep them busy and pleasuring you both.
1. Pay Attention To Erogenous Zones
Whether your partner is a man or a woman, we all have similar erogenous zones and these areas should not be ignored during sex. You can lightly touch their lips or neck, both sensitive areas or, if your partner is game, play with their nipples. Some men and women have super sensitive nipples and opt out of nipple play because of it, but if your partner is into it, then go for it.
2. Grab Your Partner’s Ass
While someone's butt cheeks aren’t exactly erogenous, grabbing your partner’s ass can be really hot. Depending on the position, if you grab their ass, you’re pulling them not just closer to you, but deeper inside you. You’re basically telling them that you can’t get enough and you need them to be as close to you as two people can possibly get, physically speaking.
3. Play With His Balls
If your partner is a man, then you definitely want to play with his balls. I realize this can be tricky in certain positions like missionary or doggy, but in cowgirl or reverse cowgirl, for example, cupping his balls or gently rubbing the underneath near his perineum is a fairly mind-blowing move.
4. Grab Some Toys
Although we’re living in a world where some sex toys are now hands-free (Yeah!), there are still some toys that need hands. In distracting your hands with toys―a vibrator, anal plug, nipple clamps, dildo, you name it―you immediately give your hands a very important job to perform during sex.
5. Go In For Some Anal Play
As I already covered, 2016 is the year of anal play. What this means is maybe it’s time to incorporate some of that into your sex life and, in doing so, it gives you something to do with your hands. Whether it’s a finger or a toy, your hands are being given a purpose, and once you throw in the need for lube, your hands will be busy bees for sure.
6. Dig Your Fingers Into Your Partner’s Back
Am I suggesting you go nuts and scratch up your partner’s back like a ravenous cat in heat? No, unless it’s your thing, of course. However, what I am suggesting is applying pressure to their back and pulling them closer to you, if you’re in a position that allows for it. Similar to when you grab your partner's ass, you're letting them know without words that that you don't just want them, but you need them against you and inside you.
7. Play With Their Hair And Head
For me, there’s nothing better than a guy with a great head of hair that I can play with and pull at during sex. In turn, I like to have my hair pulled a bit during sex, too. You may not think the top of the head as being a sensitive spot, but for some it is, so give your partner’s head a little massage or tug at their hair. Your partner doesn’t have to have a luscious head of hair like Oscar Isaac, for you to get your hands in there. (Remember his hair in Inside Llewyn Davis? That’s what I’m talking about.)
8. Touch Yourself
If you think your partner is all set on the touching front, then touch yourself. Since the majority of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, then you might as well stimulate your clitoris either manually or with a toy during intercourse. It’s also really hot for your partner to watch how you get yourself off.
9. Have Your Partner Tie Your Hands Together So You Don’t Have To Worry About It
Have you read all these options I’ve presented you and not been persuaded to try any of them? Great! Then this one is for you: Have your partner tie your hands together. You can have your hands tied over your head, behind your back, to the bedpost ― wherever is most comfortable for you. With your hands out of the way, you get to lay back and not even worry about all the things you could be doing with your hands. Yes, it’s totally the lazy option, which, in my humble opinion, makes it the best option sometimes.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:
Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy(9)
