By virtue of having been born into the Potter Generation and putting the pro in procrastination, I've personally taken just about every Sorting Hat quiz until the sun. It has, over the years, produced more than a few existential crises, particularly when the Pottermore quiz told me to choose between Hufflepuff and Slytherin (I chose Hufflepuff, but like Harry, I have felt strange echoes of my Slyther-self ever since). Since then I've been told I'm a Gryffindor, then Hufflepuff again, then Gryffindor again, and so on and so forth until my brain was fandom goop.
Albus Dumbledore famously says to Snape, "You know, sometimes I think we sort too soon," and I am inclined to agree. I was an amorphous blob at the age of 11. Hell, I'm embarrassed and bewildered by things I did last year. We are constantly evolving, shifting our priorities, reassessing our needs and wants and desires and reconsidering the world around us. It's kind of preposterous to think that all that potential can be teased out of our little brains before we've even hit puberty.
Alas, being Muggles (or no-Majs — ugh), we have no real way of sorting ourselves into a house. We come as close as we can with our various Sorting Hat quizzes, assuring ourselves that the more questions we ask, the closer we get to finding the real answer. But I think in all of our haste to cover our bases with as many questions as possible, we've lost the true heart of it. Rather than waste another 15 minutes missing the bus so you can find out what percentage Ravenclaw versus Gryffindor you are, ask yourself this one question that will help you determine where your true House lies:
If you could take on huge risk right now, and undo it if it didn’t end up with the result you wanted, what would it be?
Wait for a moment before you scroll down, and really mull it over. You want to have a really concrete idea of that risk in your mind before you let the answers below influence your decision. When you're ready, scroll down and see what type of risk is associated with each Hogwarts house.
If Your Risk Involves Self-Advocating ...
You want to tell someone you're attracted to that you have feelings for them, but don't know how to approach it. You want to speak up more at work, but you hesitate, never sure if it's the right moment, only recognizing it when it's passed. You want to be able to help a friend by telling them the truth about something — a relationship of theirs that worries you, or a habit that has spiraled out of control — but you don't want to risk the friendship by speaking your mind. You are constantly trying to strike a balance between being heard and feeling like you're being "annoying" when you do just that. If any of these, or something related to them, are the risk you had in mind, you're likely in the Hufflepuff camp.
If Your Risk Involves Your Career Or Your Major Of Study ...
You're entirely comfortable — and possibly quite successful — in the field where you are working right now. There is a clear path to success, and yet something feels like it is lacking. You secretly long for a drastic change, to do something that fulfills you, but you know that logically, financially, and ambitiously it would be best to stay right where you are. You are constantly trying to reconcile the things that you love with the things that you know will bring you stability, things that will bring you respect — and ensure a future not just for yourself, but for the people who are dependent on or expectant of you. If your risk is a battle between your heart and your mind, your desires and your obligations, then you're likely a Slytherin.
If Your Risk Involves A Major Move Or Travel Decision ...
You are determined to change your life, but you aren't sure how. You find yourself planning trips to faraway places, saving all the travel information and links to places you want to see without actually booking or committing to any of it. You frequently daydream about what kind of person you would be in a different country, a different city, a fresh new start. You have either been in one place for too long and you are restless to move on from it, or you have been restless from the start, soaking a place in with your whole heart until you are decidedly ready to explore the next. If your risk meets at a crossroads between staying and moving, between the comforts of home and using the time you've got to see everything you can see, then you're likely a Gryffindor.
If Your Risk Involves Something That Makes You Feel Vulnerable ...
There is a side to you, a way that you express yourself, that you have always wanted to share. You secretly write poems, or you are extremely passionate about cooking, or you've always wanted to learn to dance even though you don't know the first thing about it. You have avoided pursuing this hobby, afraid that you won't measure up, that your pride might be on the line — you are used to being able to prepare for things, used to being able to predict worst case scenarios and prepare for them, but this risk you are thinking of taking doesn't follow the usual script. If your risk is of this personal and psychologically nerve-wracking manner, than you're likely a Ravenclaw.
Images: Giphy; Warner Bros
