Once again, Amy Schumer has never spoken truer words. As part of W Magazine's "Best Performances 2015," Amy Schumer revealed her celeb crush: Christian Bale. Obviously, he's talented, successful, intelligent, and, of course, quite the looker. However, the Golden Globe nominated actor didn't fall for Bale based on his most recent performances. Oh no, her crush goes all the way back to the early '90s to a particular Disney musical named Newsies. She said,
I have a crush on Christian Bale. Newsies was a really big deal to me. I haven’t watched it in a while, but maybe I’d still feel attracted to 15-year-old Christian. I definitely wanted to have sex with him when he was emaciated in The Machinist. I’ll take Christian any way I can get him.
Newsies, people! Newsies! Does anyone remember this 1992 film starring Bale as lead Jack Kelly who sold "papes" in New York City? It also featured David Moscow as Davey, Bill Pullman as Bryan Denton, Robert Duval as Joseph Pulitzer, and Ann-Margert as Medda. It revolved around the 1899 newsboy strike, where newsies set out to make a change to the newspaper business and receive fair pay.
I'm pretty sure I watched it on repeat for weeks and I still have my VHS copy on my shelf. If you think I ever grew out of my obsession, I did not. In high school, one of my good friend's and I broke out the sing-along version — multiple times. If you've never listened to the songs from the film, be sure to search for "Seize the Day" and "King of New York." Clearly, Schumer has great taste.
And with that said, let's briefly reflect on why Newsies will forever be a fan-favorite — yes, it's mainly thanks to Bale.
When Bale Sang & Danced
I mean, all Jack Kelly wanted to do was go to Santa Fe. Is that too much to ask?
When There Was A Pelvic Thrust
Scandalous! Isn't this a Disney movie?
When Spitting Was Made Cool
That's one way to swap spit with Bale.
When Davey Said This
He gets it! He finally gets it!
When Spot Conlon Showed Up
"Never fear! Brooklyn is here!" (At all times, this must be said in your best Brooklyn accent.)
When Bale Did This
Pure. Talent.
How could you not have a crush on Bale and fall in love with Newsies?
Images: Giphy (4); elijahwood/Tumblr
