Life

How To Be Less Sensitive

by Carolyn Steber

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a sensitive soul, but it can make life a little more painful than it has to be. In fact, being overly emotional can feel like a downright curse. If you're feeling totally overrun with feelings, you may want to know some ways to stop being so sensitive.

There are so many different ways to be sensitive. Maybe you're the type who cries instantly when you see an old couple holding hands. Maybe you're the type who really feels music, and gets covered in goosebumps while looking at art. Or maybe you're the type who feels slighted and hurt at every turn. The last one? Not so fun.

If your feelings get hurt easily, you may find yourself struggling in various aspects of life. At work you may wonder with suspicion why you didn't get a raise, or why your boss didn't say good morning. You start to run over in your head what you could have done wrong, and you sit at your desk feeling oh so very hurt. (Sound familiar?)

Sensitivity can also affect your private relationships. Who hasn't had an SO wonder what they did to make you so sad? Chances are, it was nothing too terrible, but you feel upset all the same. It can be an exhausting way to live.

So, if you've had enough of your emotional sensitivity, then take a look at these ways to reign in your feelings once and for all.

1. Ask Yourself, "Why Do I Feel This Way?"

If you're extra sensitive, it's possible to get upset over something seemingly inconsequential, which can leave you wondering why you're feeling so hurt. When this happens, you should take some time to figure it out. According to Amy Morin on Lifehack.org, "Ask yourself why you feel the way you do. For example, did you have high expectations for how something would turn out and then became upset when it didn’t turn out the way you wanted? Or did someone say something to you that you found offensive? Identify exactly what caused you to feel sensitive and why it made you feel that way. Often, unmet needs and unmet expectations lead to hurt feelings." When you figure out why you got upset, it can be easier to learn how to manage hurt feelings in the future.

2. Think About What You'd Say To A Friend

Don't beat yourself up the next time your emotions are running amok. It won't do you any good. Instead, talk to yourself like you would a good friend, and offer yourself some comfort. Morin notes, "Most people are much kinder to others than they are themselves. Ask yourself what you would say if your best friend approached you with a similar issue. If you’re blaming yourself or exaggerating how bad a situation is, it can be helpful to listen to the sound advice you would offer a friend."

3. Just Go Ahead And Cry

Sometimes we feel sensitive when we need to release some emotion. So if a touching TV commercial makes you well up, or if someone letting you into traffic causes you to burst into tears, then you should probably just go ahead and have yourself a cathartic cry. According to Sara Courter on MindBodyGreen.com, "By shedding tears we are releasing toxins, pent-up emotions, and easing stress. Crying is an authentic and mortal means of helping ourselves to simply feel better."

4. Go Distract Yourself With Something Else

After you've given yourself proper time to wallow, do get up and do something else. Go visit some friends, take a jog around a park, or watch a good movie. According to Mariella Frostrup in The Guardian, "Activity is top of my list of useful distractions. The more time you spend doing and the less thinking the easier it is to shrug off perceived put-downs and imagined insults."

5. Quick, Do Something Creative

Art wouldn't exist if it weren't for sensitive types scribbling down poetry and expressing themselves through painting. So why don't you give it a try yourself, and see if it makes you feel better? As Lori Deschene notes on TinyBuddha.com, "Express your feelings through a creative outlet, like blogging or painting. Add this to your to-do list and cross it off when you’re done. This will be a visual reminder that you have actively chosen to release these feelings." Good for you.

6. Look At It From A Different Perspective

Sensitive people can feel like the world is out to get them, but that's rarely the case. If you're feeling attacked, picked on, or put out, take a moment and think about the other person's motives. As Deschene suggests, "Put yourself in the offender’s shoes. We all make mistakes, and odds are you could have easily slipped up just like your husband, father, or friend did. Compassion dissolves anger."

7. Take Some Time To Meditate

Just 10 minutes is all it takes to meditate and clear your mind. It's a good way to get rid of mental garbage that's clogging up the works and making you feel way worse than you should. As noted by Sarah Mahoney on Goodhousekeeping.com, "Researchers from San Diego State University and the University of California at San Diego found that mindfulness meditation, which has been shown to treat stress, anxiety, and depression, is especially good at helping brooders stop replaying a hurtful remark over and over." Sounds like it's worth a try.

There's nothing wrong with being a sensitive person, but don't let it carry you away. The next time you your feelings are hurt, take some time to figure out why, and then do what you can to get your emotions right again.

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