'Toy Story' Is Hugely Outdated

It's weird to think that Toy Story is 20-years-old when it seemed like you were watching it just yesterday. Actually, maybe you were watching it just yesterday, because it remains, two decades later, a pretty magical film. And maybe while rewatching Toy Story you've noticed that, well, if you really pay attention there's a few references that kind of mark the film as outdated.

Now, don't get too huffy, because I'm not talking about the quality of the movie as a whole. Though the CGI isn't as cleaned up as the sequels (and, you know, every other Pixar film being churned out this week) it still feels fresh and lively, with the right amount of nostalgia to take you back to your childhood. However, this is still a movie from 1995, and no matter how hard we try to bring back the '90s, certain concepts don't translate the same way as it would today.

Which is interesting to think about, because Toy Story 3 worked pretty seamlessly in 2010. Would a modern movie about toys, on its own merits, really hold up as well without that impeccable legacy? Deep shrug.

My point is, let's just take a critical eye to the original film and see what feels decidedly out of place (you know, like Woody in the entire movie).

Toy Soldiers

I'm sure that you can still buy the green army men somewhere, there's no doubt that I had a carton of them when I was a kid. To take that back further, though, my dad had a collection of green army men collecting dust in my grandparents house. Thing is, those little guys were probably hella interesting in the mid-'60s when he grew up, a little too stationary in 2015.

Battleship

This is the penultimate gift that Andy receives for his birthday, and I'm sure you vaguely remember playing it in your cousin's basement as a child. Someone would scream "You sunk my battleship!" and then flip over the game in a rage, it was all very fun. However, I don't think kids today are too keen on board games, and Battleship is now best known as that horrible movie starring Rihanna.

Pull-String Toys

This one is maybe more forgivable because it's acknowledged that Woody's pull-string is an outdated way to spew out catchphrases. This has been alluded to plenty of times, which is why he has major laser envy with Buzz and his buttons. Of course, it's assumed Woody is a toy that dated backs to pre-Sputnik times, so again, within the context of his origins it makes sense. Today, though, most toys go with a button method.

Mr. Mike

The only people who are recording cassettes today live very solidly in Brooklyn. I happen to be friends with all of them. The rest of the country is not about that life.

Hot Wheels?

Or Matchbox? I think those were different-but-the-same things at one point. All I know is that my brother has a bunch a little tiny cars in a box that has the Kraft Cheesasaurus Rex on it. Don't know what to do with any of it.

Pizza Planet

You're not misremembering things: Pizza Planet is not a real place. I mean, not outside of Disney World, anyway. That said, it seems like every year more and more Chuck E. Cheese-ish institutions die out in my hometown. I don't have children, so I can't say this as a fact, but I'm pretty sure the modern woman Pinterests most of her children's parties these days.

Those Weird Mom Minivans

I think even hardcore soccer moms have less clunky vehicles than whatever Mrs. Andy's Mom is driving.

"Hakuna Matata" Playing In The Weird Mom Minivan

I know, I know, it's a classic. Nobody's hating on "Hakuna Matata." I'm merely pointing out that if the film was made in 2015 baby Molly would be listening to "Let It Go" ad nauseum.

And Of Course, The Entire Concept That Kids Play With Toys

Dark, but not untrue! Literally every time I see my cousin's kids they're going hard on an iPad, whereas I wasn't allowed a flip phone until I was 13. Born right before the huge influx of technology, it truly feels that millennials were the last generation to really play with toys. Not that Toys R' Us has gone extinct or anything, it's just that, well, kids today are less likely to use their imagination.

However, while toys own their own might make the movie feel old, it does make Toy Story sort of the perfect rocket ship back to a simpler time. And yeah, that's why you're going to watch it again for the millionth time.

Images: Giphy (9)