Tom Schwartz Lets It Rip On 'Pump Rules'

Here is a fart, er, fact of life: everyone passes gas. We all do it. There is no shame in it. Ripping butt is a normal, natural, and healthy thing. Oh, and it also happens to be hilarious. If you try to tell me otherwise, I won’t be able to hear you over all of the fart sounds I’ll be making with my armpit. Frankly, I’ve never met a fart that didn’t make me laugh. To not laugh at a fart is to not live life to the fullest. And when the forever darling Tom Schwartz let a stinky poot loose on Monday night’s episode of Vanderpump Rules , you can be sure I let a delighted cackle loose. No, we viewers at home didn’t hear the flatulence. But you know what we did hear? The aftermath, courtesy of Jax’s spectacular, no holds fart, er, barred reaction. And that was enough for me.

On this week's Pump Rules, Vander-dudes Peter, Jax, Tom Sandoval, and Tom Schwartz road tripped to Las Vegas. At some point between the City of Angels and Sin City, Tom Schwartz broke wind in the car. He tried to play it cool, but the toot's odor made that impossible. The fart's fragrance (fart-grance?) filled the vehicle. And according to Jax, the fart-grance was not pleasant.

While Sandoval and Peter tried their best to not let the fart cloud get to them, Jax did not stay calm. He was not about to let the fart cloud go unnoticed. Instead, he yelled and and retched and gagged and carried on and said it reeked like Schwartz’s apartment (I hope that is more of a diss to the apartment than the fart?). Schwartz insisted it did not smell like his apartment, and added that he just bought a $30 candle for his and Katie's home. And that was how the scene ended. I. Love. This. Show.

The scene was Christmas come a few days early. Thanks, Bravo. You always know what to get me.

Image: Charles Sykes/Bravo