Between extended members of your family peppering you with questions about how lonely you must be, and Sex and the City reruns, there are constant reminders about how tough it is to be single and not dating anyone. It can also feel like everyone around you is trying to rush you into a relationship when you're solo. It's an insanely outdated notion that instantly reminds me of a Jane Austen novel, yet it seems like most of the world is still chilling in 1809 with Jane. But if you're single, you know how tough it sometimes is to be unattached, whether you're single voluntarily or not. You're probably fully aware that being an “I” rather than a “We” isn't as easy as Grandma makes it out to be.
Dating and relationships come in their due time, but the single life is definitely a milestone we need to give more credit to. Not only will being single help you focus in on what you want from life while allowing you to get it, spending time with yourself helps you to learn more of who you are. And during those formidable early to mid-20s years, finding yourself in the most cliché, and John Hughes-way is completely necessary. Here are all the reasons that being unattached truly is awesome, and why it's actually a positive relationship status to have.
1. You Only Have Yourself To Answer To
Not that being in a relationship automatically means that your S.O. becomes responsible for you (this isn't the 1950s, people), but there is still a major sense of inclusiveness that comes with a relationship. If you're not seeing someone, you don't have to worry about calling them and letting them no where you are, and what you're doing. When you feel like spending your nights binge-watching alone, you have the complete freedom to do so. Or maybe your friends have finally convinced you that spending an entire night out is a good option, and you're ready to have a few more cocktails than necessary. Whatever it is, being single means you can to do it. It's that simple, and there's so much beauty to it.
2. You Can Focus On Personal Aspirations Without Difficulty
We all have our goals in life, and being single may make some of them a lot easier to attain. When you're unattached, you have the ability to make yourself your sole priority. If you feel like moving to take that new job across the country, being in a relationship will not be in the way to complicate that. Trying new things and seizing all opportunities that come your way is a completely possible because there is no need to compromise. And if you're just starting out, making your way up the career ladder is extremely important, and a lot simpler to do alone. There's nothing wrong with your job being your bae right now, especially if you truly love it.
3. You Can Travel When You Want To
As long as your job is giving you enough vacation days, why not go away for a while? It's true that you can totally go away when you're with someone, but when you're flying solo, you can pick up your suitcase and travel for weeks at a time without having to feel guilty for it. Satisfying wanderlust is a lot simpler when you don't have someone back home waiting for you. And if you're not dating, you don't have to worry about sacrificing a connection for the sake of wanting to finally see The Great Wall.
4. It's A Lot Cheaper
Practically speaking, dating is expensive. Between buying cute date outfits, and going Dutch on shared meals, trying to find your next S.O. really runs up a tab. Not to mention the possibility of a monthly dating site subscription. And when you get into a relationship, the price tag jumps even more. Suddenly there are holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries which necessitate gifts. Ugh. Staying single means being able to save your money, or better yet, spend it on yourself.
5. You Can Do The Hookup Thing
If you're looking to experiment, and try out some some one-night stands for your sexier needs, go for it. It's the perfect time to do so. Hookups can be fun, easy, and short which means you still retain your independence at the end of the day. First, make sure a one-night stand is something you're comfortable with and then go ahead and sleep with that hottie eyeing you from across the bar if you want to; just remember to be safe about it.
6. You're Spared The Awkwardness of First Dates
Not sure about you, but the thing I hate most about dating is the awkwardness of the first date. Having to meet up with someone you don't truly know, and spend 30 minutes+ talking to them about who knows what is not only intimidating, it sounds outright unpleasant. Then there's the added bonus that you may not even like the person, but you're stuck unless you can come up with a truly creative way to get yourself out of there. No first dates means no aggravation and no added worry.
7. Also, Dating Apps Can Be Kind Of Miserable
Everyone whose ever been on a dating app will probably agree: It's not ideal if you're looking for a partner. Between the random, sexually aggressive messages that will swarm your chat-feed, and the general sense of not knowing what to say to a complete stranger, meeting someone seems difficult despite the endless options. And then there's ghosting and disappearing acts. To avoid having to grieve the experience of someone you like turning themselves into the reincarnation of Houdini, you should feel fine taking a break or not being on them.
8. You'll Never Have To Share Food
I'll be the first to admit it: I have a pretty hefty appetite. To say I'm a foodie is a bit of an understatement; I take flavors, aromas, and presentation very seriously. So when I'm presented with a masterpiece meal that I spend my hard-earned money on, I don't want to share it. Call me selfish, but you're not getting a single fry. And when I'm single, I don't have to awkwardly explain any of this.
9. You Get To Know Yourself Better
Spending time alone is a truly blissful experience. You can use that time to read a good book, you can meditate, or you can inhale an entire pizza while wearing no pants. Point is, alone time is important, and it gives you a momentary break from all the stress your day can cause you. What's more, the longer you spend alone, the more you get to know yourself in a way that's extremely necessary for when you do eventually want a relationship. Taking the time to understand who you are as a person, and appreciate those qualities will make you happier overall — and it will help you discover what it is you want from another person when you decide you're ready for it.
10. Independence Really Is Freedom
When you're a solo agent, navigating the world based on your desires and needs alone, is insanely liberating. You'll never have more freedom than when you're completely single. Yes, you will retain individuality when you're in a relationship, but all partnerships require some sort of sacrifice to make it work. When you're single, there is no questioning that you're number one. And that's a really amazing feeling.
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