Undeniably, being cheated on is the worst feeling. I've had it happen, and I felt like the biggest fool. Sometimes relationships can bounce back from infidelity, sometimes they don't, but we still don't know that much about why cheating happens. Which is good to know. Not because I want to be scaremongering and making you scared of cheating lurking around every corner. I mean, if you are busy second-guessing and creating a narrative out of signs you're reading into, you're not going to be enjoying your relationship. And we can all convince ourselves of something and make patterns in our minds if we want to see them — we see what we want to see. So there's no need to be on high alert.
But at the same time, cheating does happen in relationships. And, chances are that the reason people cheat is partially do to circumstances. Not that that's an excuse, but there are certain circumstances that seem to incubate cheating. Sometimes it's things completely outside of our control. But other times it's things that we can keep an eye out for, and try to prevent with better communication in the relationship. So it's good to be aware and make sure you're both feeling good about how things are going.
While these things below don't mean someone is definitelygoingto cheat on you or that you'll inevitably cheat on your partner, here are eight times people are more likely to cheat, according to studies, surveys, and people who've been there.
1. When They Work In Finance
Illicit Encounters, a UK cheating site, looked at their 970,000 users and found that 18 percent of those worked in the financial sector. I don't know if it's everyone going Wolf of Wall Street down there, but that's a big proportion.
2. When Their Parents Cheated
A study of 300 students found that those whose parents cheated are twice as twice as likely to cheat. I take this with a grain of salt, because my parents had a super effed up relationship and I resent the idea that that has an effect on how I will behave in relationship, but it does seem to be a trend.
3. When You Make Different Amounts Of Money
Men who make far more than their wives are more likely to cheat then those who make the same amount, says science. Interestingly, men who make far less, especially if they are financially dependent, are far more likely to cheat. Research from University of Connecticut looked at nearly 3,000 individuals and found that 15 percent of financially dependent men cheat, compared to just five percent of financially dependent women.
4. When They Aren't Happy
This may seem like an obvious one, but it's really important. Dissatisfied people cheat. It doesn't have to be that they're miserable in a relationship, but something is going on that makes them not satisfied with what they have. If you're communicating and chatting with your partner regularly about how they're doing— and really listen— then you should be able to gauge how they're feeling and stop things before they get too bad.
5. When They're Looking For A Way Out
This is one you can really do much about, to be honest. I know people that have cheated when the relationship is going south as a sort of "straw that broke the camel's back" move. They need an excuse to get out of the relationship, so they basically light the whole thing on fire. It may seem immature and selfish, but it definitely happens.
6. When They Have High Levels Of Testosterone And Cortisol
Here's another one you can't really control. Researches from Harvard and UT Texas published an article in Journal of Experimental Psychology: General looking at 117 participants and found that elevated levels of testosterone and cortisol may make people more likely to cheat.
7. When They Don't Watch Porn As Much AS They Used To
Another survey done by Illicit Encounters said that out of 1,400 men surveyed half had stopped watching porn completely when they were having affairs. There seems to be a connection between people who watch porn generally being less likely to cheat, another reminder that enjoying porn and masturbating while you're in a relationship is completely OK.
8. When They Think You're Cheating
A recent study from the University of North Carolina looked at over 500 heterosexual men and women and found that those who thought their partner had recently had sex with someone else were four times more likely to have sex with another person. That's massive. It shows that having a relationship where your partner feels secure can make a big difference for both of you. And that takes support and communication.
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