You Should Ask Siri These Festive Questions

Ask your parents what their favorite pastimes were when they were younger, and they might say collecting baseball cards or reading comic books. But ask someone from the iGeneration, and the list could very well include asking Siri silly questions just to see what happens. Heck, one of my favorite activities of all time might be asking Siri to divide 0 by 0. Siri's response to that never gets old. And now you can make your hang sesh with your iPhone festive, because Siri is in the holiday spirit if you ask the right questions.

Let's begin with standard holiday greetings. Throw Siri a "Happy Hanukkah" and the intelligent personal assistant will wish you the same. But if you try to wish Siri a merry Christmas already, you can probably guess the response:

I could be wrong, but I believe that Christmas Day is on Dec. 25.

That darned Siri, always keeping track of what day it is, and probably billions of other facts. Another thing about that cheeky Siri? The smart little P.A. has loads of sass, and won't hold back when asking about Saint Nick or Christmas gifting.

These are some of the responses you may hear if you ask Siri, "Is Santa real?"

Be careful, (name). You don't want to end up on the Naughty List.

Let's just say I'm not the only one who knows if you've been good or bad.

Really, (name). I'm surprised you have to ask.

But ask "Where does Santa live?" and there's just one possibility.

The North Pole. I can see his house from the cloud.

Those puns, though. The sass really shines if you ask Siri about what you might find from Santa Claus under the tree on Christmas morning.

'Tis better to give than to wonder about receiving.

OK, Siri. I get it. I'm a bit too self-involved. Is it a bad sign that when I asked a second and third time what Santa plans to gift me, I was happy to find that Siri had to admit to not knowing something?

Ummm. You got me.

Of many things I am certain; of this I am not.

If you aren't too bitter after Siri shuts down your selfish thoughts, the P.A. is open to giving advice on what to gift others. Ask Siri, "What should I get my wife/husband for Christmas?" and you might get the following clever suggestions:

I hear socks are a popular albeit lukewarmly received gift item.

You could write a poem.

How about an ugly sweater?

So I decided to dig deeper and ask Siri what I should get for just about every person in my life. Turns out the P.A. has some very specific ideas.

How about a llama?

How about a musical instrument? Ooh, I know, a theremin!

How about something green and wavy? Ooh! An oscilloscope! They're so cool.

How about a pomelo? Or a persimmon. Or a Pomeranian?

Clearly, Siri doesn't know my sister well enough to realize that she is already well-stocked on persimmons. After Siri helps you come up with a list of items to not get for your loved ones, you can turn the tables on that one-step-away-from-condescending voice. Ask Siri, "What do you want for Christmas?" and it might seem at first that the Apple P.A. is going to go all humble on you. The first response I received was:

Just the opportunity to serve you.

But ask again and you'll find out that Siri apparently has a sweet tooth, just like everyone else.

Chocolate reindeer!