I don't think I know anyone who hasn't had sex with with an ex at some point. For better or for worse (usually worse), it's one of those things that you know is a bad idea 99 percent of the time. but you really need to experience for yourself. Because no matter how much you know it's a bad idea in theory, you can ignore that part long enough to go with through it and deal with the consequences after. And that's fine — there are some experiences you just have to have. Plus, maybe it's not the worst thing in the world. Lots of couples get back together and are happy.
So the most important thing is that you don't beat yourself up over this, because whether or not it works out again, tons of people have gone back to an ex, whether for just a hookup or for something more. Sometimes it's good for comfort, sometimes it's good for closure, and sometimes it's a good reminder of why you broke up.
Either way, that probably won't stop the running commentary in your head while you're hooking up with an ex. You'll start to remember things you loved, things you definitely did not love, and think about where the eff things are going now. It's hard for it to be a frivolous, fun, out of body experience, because you're spending a lot of time wondering what's going on.
Here's the running commentary going through your head when you have sex with an ex, because it's all going to start coming back:
1. God, I Missed This
Maybe you've been in a dry spell since your ex, but even if you haven't, you probably missed it a bit. Sex with everyone is different, so the sex you've had since your ex won't be the same, and having sex with them again can really throw you back. Sometimes it feels amazing and familiar in the best way.
2.... Didn't Miss That Though
But then there's that weird thing they do to your eyebrow. Really, your eyebrow? Did it always feel so weird? Why do they do that? Are eyebrows a sex thing? Why were you so OK with it before? Maybe there was a reason you broke up.
3. Why Is Their Face So Close?
If you're trying to get swept away in nostalgia, or not really think about the consequences of hooking up with your ex, sometimes having their face right there is just a little too close. Let's get caught up in the moment, OK? Just not the moment where I have to look at your face.
4. What Does This Mean?
Obviously if you're having sex with an ex, things are bound to get complicated. No matter how much you might try to banish the thought, it's going to pop up at some point. Does this mean you still having feelings? Are you friends? Does it mean you're an empowered woman having fun? Does it mean you were wrong to break up? What does it mean?!
5. How Did This Happen?
Sex with your ex probably wasn't planned. Maybe you met up to exchange stuff and it's one last fling, maybe you ran into each other at a party— who knows. But one thing lead to another, and you're going to try to put those pieces together, because how it happened might help you figure out what it means, right?
6. This Will Be Fine
If you fall right back into the great sex you had before and everything is going amazing, that nostalgia takes over and you're convinced this was a great decision, until...
7. This Was A Disaster
Until the brick wall of reality hits you in the face. This was a terrible idea. This was a worst idea than that day I dieted last year. What am I doing?
8. I Love Them
At some point in the fling you will reach peak confusing emotions. Breaking up was a mistake, you were meant to be together, this is all happening for a reason, and that reason in this person is your soulma—
9. Nope, I Do Not
And then they do that thing to your eyebrow again.
10. What Now?
Right after you sex with an ex is probably the most confusing time, more confusing than the sex itself. You don't know what they're thinking, they don't know what you're thinking, and if it meant something big then neither of you want to speak first so you don't end up with an emotional pie in the face. So you're probably just both lying there, thinking all of the things, and waiting for the other one to speak first. Don't fret too much, just remember they're going through exactly the same thing.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:
