In the beginning of a relationship you and the person you are dating will learn a lot about each other — but there are also early relationship red flags to look out for during all of that new relationship bliss. Yes, you two will find out about each other’s favorite color, songs, genre of movies, etc. You will figure out each other’s bad habits that you will somehow find adorable. You’ll catch on to each other’s mannerisms and fall more in love. This honeymoon phase is great, and most of us understand how it got its name.
With that being said, when we start dating someone, their true colors start to show. Usually these are characteristics that you're drawn to. However, sometimes you might come across some ugly colors that you didn’t even know existed, as well. These are sometimes red flags that you should be paying attention to, rather than just a difference in personalities. Having a background in counseling psychology and leading couples therapy, I know a thing or two when it comes to relationship warnings. It’s key to be aware of these early red flags because often we are so blindsided by love that we don’t even notice them. Not to say that you need to break up with your partner immediately if you realize these are occurring — but it’s better to live in reality, instead of denial. That way you can address these issues head on. Here are seven red flags that show up in the beginning of a relationship.
1. Your Partner Has Already Stopped Doing Super Cute & Nice Things
The best part of the beginning of a relationship is the super nice and cute things your partner does. Not to say that this will stop as the relationship goes on, but it’s natural to fade a tiny bit. With that being said, if you’re only a couple months into the relationship and he or she has stopped showing affection and love, then it might not be coming back. Even worse, if it’s gone already, it’s doubtful that it will spark up again in the future.
2. Your Partner Makes Excuses To Not Fully Commit
Ah, the commitment-phobe. You know when you’ve got someone who’s afraid of fully committing when he or she can’t even commit to weekend brunch plans with you. Basically, if you are wanting to be exclusive and your partner thinks of a million reasons why it’s not the right time, it might not be the right choice for you to be together.
3. You Two Are Already Fighting
Having disagreements here and there is completely normal. However, if you haven’t even met his or her friends and family yet, but you two are already screaming and yelling at each other, all signs point to major red flags.
4. Your Partner Makes Comments About What You Are Wearing
Nobody but you should have a say in what you are wearing or what your hair or makeup looks like. If your partner starts telling you what he or she thinks you should wear, your red flags alarms should be going off. It’s your body and you have the right to wear whatever you please, even if that means you’re showing more skin than he or she prefers, or you want to wear pajamas to the grocery store — it’s your prerogative.
5. Your Partner Doesn’t Want You To Meet Important People
If you and your partner have been together for quite some time now and he or she still is avoiding you meeting his or her family or close friends, warning bells are ringing. Your significant other should be so excited to show you off, instead of hiding you away. You’re not a secret, and you should never be made to feel like one.
6. You Feel The Need To Snoop
Feeling the need to snoop in any point of a relationship is troublesome. But if you feel the need to look through his or her email or phone in the very beginning of the relationship, then you’ve got bigger fish to fry. During the first few months of dating, it’s all about building a foundation of trust, loyalty, and respect. Therefore, if you want to snoop, that foundation appears to have some major cracks in it that need inspecting.
7. There's No PDA At All
I’m not saying you should be engaging in PDA with you partner like those obnoxious couples at Disneyland that are making out right in front of you. However, a little bit of affection in public can feel so lovely. If you go to grab your other half’s hand and he or she denies you, this relationship might not be worth holding on to.
If you're already seeing one or more of these signs and you've just started dating your SO, it may be time to evaluate the relationship.
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