Getting to a level where you're comfortable sexually with your partner is no easy feat. Let's be honest with ourselves for a second: Sex is inherently awkward. Whether you're just starting out or have been hooking up for a while, you will be inevitably met with a variety of awkward challenges and uncomfortable positions that will make things less than sexy. But that's OK, and it's all part of the fun! The most important part is you have someone you can laugh through it with. And once you find that person, the sex will only get better from there on out.
It can take some time to become completely sexually open with someone. First you need to build trust, have open discussions, and find both of your sweet spots on what you like to do, and what you're completely against. It's also super important that the two of you learn to laugh and not take sex too seriously; yes, you'll have your intense, heated moments of passion but there's nothing sexier than someone who can have a sense of humor. And once you get there, sex is pretty much the best it will ever be. Here's how to tell you and your partner are beyond sexually compatible to the point of being insanely comfortable in the bedroom with one another.
1. You Have No Problem Discussing Things Before, During, And After
Partner who are comfortable with each other sexually know the number one rule of getting down and dirty: Talking about it openly. Before the act, you and your partner will talk about the kind of stuff you want to do with each other. It may sound like this takes some of the spontaneity out of it all, but you will find that when you go over what's about to happen it can actually be an insane turn on. And the talking won't stop there! Once you guys get down to business, you both check in during the process to make sure everything is going smoothly. You're also sure to let your partner know before changing things up. And to make it fun, you'll turn it into the sexiest form of dirty talk.
2. You Both Won't Proceed Without Enthusiastic Consent
Consent is always 100 percent crucial to any kind of sexual contact, and you and your partner know this. So when it comes to getting hot and heavy, you not only run things by one another, you make sure your partner gives gives enthusiastic consent. If they say yes, but it seems like their heart isn't in it, you're sure to stop and talk about it or move on to the next thing. And there is no judgment ever between the two of you when someone says no, nor is there even the slightest hint of coercion.
3. You're Willing To Try New Things Together
Couples who are open sexually are also open to the prospect of trying new things. At the beginning of your relationship you may not stray too far from missionary, but once you trust each other fully you'll feel more inclined to experiment with both of your fantasies. As long as both parties say yes, of course.
4. You're Able To Laugh When Things Get Weird
This is probably the most important thing on the list. When you're intimate with someone who you're completely comfortable with, the two of you have no problem pausing and laughing at all of the awkward curve balls sex can throw at you. Rather than ignoring the strange noises and the inevitable accidents to keep things “sexy,” you can both giggle through it and have fun with sex's natural humor. That's what really makes it fun, after all.
5. Your Sexual Chemistry Is Insane
It's true that sexual chemistry comes naturally between two people, but when those people trust each other fully the sexual chemistry reaches a whole new level. There's no doubting that sex is best when you're with someone you feel comfortable with because you can make it better for each other through communicating. When you're with someone you only partially trust, sex can be good but it's rarely ever mind-blowing.
6. There's Nothing Awkward About Chilling Naked Together
When all is good in the hood in the bedroom, chances are you guys have reached a level of comfort where you can chill naked together without issue. Whether you guys just did the deed and are now settling down for some serious pillow talk, or your partner just hopped out of the shower and doesn't feel like putting pants on, there's no weirdness about being naked in each other's presence. One of my good friends is even able to take showers with her BF and hold normal conversations like nothing out of the ordinary is happening. Not saying you guys have to be on that level, but nudity doesn't seem to phase you anymore.
7. You're Open About Your Fantasies And What You're Not Into
Part of trusting someone is feeling OK with telling them what's on your mind and what you're into. If you want to get kinky or play out an ultimate sex fantasy, you'll have no problem telling a partner you're totally comfortable with. Whereas with a new significant other you might shy away from sharing with them how you've always wanted to try rope play, a partner you trust will be all ears. Even if they don't share your fantasy, they'll be willing to listen without judgment and learn what it is you like.
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