How To Ring In The New Year From Your Couch

I’m just going to lay this out on the table now: I hate New Year’s Eve. I would rather spend any sort of celebration that is about having one last night of enforcing poor habits and engaging in demoralizing behavior sitting squarely on my couch, in sweat pants and guzzling my very own bottle of prosecco. And, trust me, I know that this is the best way to ring in the New Year from experience. Because no matter how much time or effort that you put into celebrating the New Year, there is always something that goes wrong: people are left out or someone’s keys get stolen or some bouncer tells you your dress is ugly, and you end up in tears. So, no, I will not be going out this New Year’s Eve. I will not subject myself to it. Instead, I plan on spending the evening in front of my television, flipping back and forth between a number of perfectly good New Year’s Eve TV specials.

The fact that a number of television stations have announced their NYE lineups certainly doesn’t hurt, because the performances are looking better than ever. Like the fact that One Direction will be headlining Dick Clark’s New Years Rockin’ Eve, live from Hollywood. With news like that, I’m even more determined to make my couch the best seat in the house. Especially since it doesn’t involve having to put on makeup or curl my hair or pretend to want to be in anything other than my flannel pajamas with the little skiing men on them.

Luckily for me and my little men, there are some pretty stellar celebrations happening this year that I can take in comfort of my couch.

NBC

Coming to you live on New Years Eve at 10 p.m., New Year’s Eve with Carson Daly will offer some of the year’s top talent. I'm just crossing my fingers that Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani make a repeat performance on the show, since they were there last year before they were a couple. Whether you watch this one or not, if Shelton and Stefani do show up, everyone and their mother is going to want to flip to this at midnight just to see how they celebrate their new love match in front of millions. Will they or won’t they kiss?

ABC

A perennial favorite, Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve continues even without the original host who made it so famous. This year you can look forward to One Direction coming in live from Hollywood, and Carrie Underwood headlining in New York. Ryan Seacrest will host the show, along with Jenny McCarthy and Fergie. Plus, Taylor Swift will release the "Out of the Woods" music video. That party bus starts moving at 8 p.m., so it will be great for early birds and the kids.

FOX

Mr. Worldwide is kicking on New Year’s live in Miami, where he will host between 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. and then — get this — after a little break for your local news, return at 11 p.m. to continue partying.

CNN

Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper will be returning to host the 2016 CNN New Year’s Eve special, and that's no surprise. After all, they were no. 1 in cable news during this New Year’s Eve coverage in 2015. It would be more surprising if the network hadn't brought them back.

Whatever network you choose, you’re bound to have a good time. How could you not with one hand wrapped around a bottle of booze and another buried deep in a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. Oh, wait. What’s that? That’s just how I plan on spending the evening? Eh. So be it.