Entertainment

What Was Kris Thinking??

by Dale Neuringer

Kris Jenner might be one of the most media-savvy moms we've seen in recent times. She is all over the news constantly, between her Instagram, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, her talk show and Twitter, but she shocked us all, for the first time in a long time, with a racy photo of the official Kris Jenner poolside bikini body . She posted a really fleeting but nonetheless informative photo montage on Instagram, and it was chock full of insider photos we were just aching to see.

The video races through a series of images, of Kris and her family, Kris wearing nice clothes, Kris posing awkwardly in her closet, but it is the sun-kissed grandma-in-a-teeny-weeny-bikini shot that has folks talking.

I often feel inundated with Kardashian body pics, but Kris Jenner is definitely more shocking than say, Kim throwing us an ass pic or Kendall wearing something skimpy and doing duck lips. So here are some possibilities for what was going through Kris's head as she put together that scintillating list of photos for our viewing pleasure.

1) To Show Us That Seriously, Kim Got It From Her Mama

I mean, she literally did, that's how genes work, but clearly that body came from somewhere.

2) Because Everyday Is A Kris Jenner Montage Day

Isn't it?

3) Because She's Single And Ready To Mingle, So Might As Well Spread The Image

To all men 25-60, Kris Jenner can rock the hell out of a bikini, so uh.... hit her up.

4) Also, It's Been A While So Heeeyyyyy Boys

GRANDMAS HAVE NEEDS TOO.

5) To Remind Us That She Is A Jenner By Name, But A Fame Hungry Kardashian By Nature

Look at me, I sit by pools, I pose for pictures, I am really good at looking like I'm having fun, I have daughters, therefore watch me and buy all my products so you can be juuuuust like me. #KardashianLyfe.

6) She Works Damn Hard For That Body, Someone Better Damn Well Look At It

This is not sarcastic, honestly she looks better than I do in a bikini and she is more than twice my age. I'm crying.

7) She Thinks Her Instagram Followers Wouldn't Have The Attention Span To Actually Flip Through The Singular Photos

We Kris Jenner Instagram followers are simple minded folk, and sometimes we get confused by the concept of looking through a profile of pictures on an app made explicitly for doing so. Sometimes, we need our benevolent benefactor, Kris Jenner, to arrange them in a line and flip through them for us, since we're incapable of doing so ourselves. Thank you Kris, we couldn't have done it without ya.

8) This Is Like A Kardashian Version Of Those Lame E-Cards Your Grandparents Send

In the same frightening alternate universe where Kris Jenner is a worthy talk show host, she would probably also send out the video equivalent of a minute and a half long selfie to just say, I'm Kris Jenner, don't I look smokin' in a bikini.

9) The Kardashian Matron Doesn't Need A Damn Reason

She kind of doesn't.

Image: KrisJenner/Instagram