I have to be honest here. Ready? Giving a great hand job is an art. You may think that you just go in with your hand open-palmed and ready to go do some back and forth stroking on the shaft of the penis, but there’s more to it than that. It’s about rhythm, pressure, and realizing that there’s a lot more going on down there than just what’s visible to the naked eye. But, if you’ve already mastered the art of giving hand jobs, then you knew that.
But for those who are wondering to yourself every time you reach down to touch a penis, “Am I doing this right?” then you need to take a step back, breathe, give yourself a high-five, and quit questioning it. For starters, different people prefer different hand job techniques, so there’s that. Secondly, as with any sexual acts, in order to be successful at it, you need to have confidence in it. You need to own what you’re about to do, how you’re about to do it, before you even do it. If you don’t have that part nailed down, then that’s where you need to do some work first. Once you have that in the bag, it’s time to get down to specifics, so listen up. Here are eight signs that you’re giving a great hand job:
1. You Know The Importance Of Hand Job Foreplay
If you’re aware of hand job foreplay, then you’re already ahead of the gang. Like any foreplay, hand job foreplay is the best way to tease your way into the hand job, by first playfully touching his knees, then slowly making your way to his inner thigh. The inner thigh is an erogenous zone on both men and women, so it makes for a great starting point.
2. You Don’t Squeeze It
Let’s be honest, their penis isn’t going anywhere so there’s no need to squeeze it for dear life. Your partner wants you to touch it, but touch it with care, as if, you know, you just might break it if you squeeze too hard. If you know how to find the right amount of pressure to create a satisfying sensation that doesn’t make them feel like you’re trying to pull it off and make a run for it, then you’re doing a good job.
3. You Switch Up Your Strokes
Just as you prefer different strokes on your clitoris, your partner wants different strokes on their penis, too. From long to short strokes, or fast to slower strokes, you want to vary in your technique, so as to keep them guessing.
4. You Don’t Ignore The Balls
Whether it’s intercourse, hand jobs, or blow jobs, balls are often left out of the party. But they really shouldn’t be! Because balls are so sensitive, even just a little tug or cupping action is enough to make a hand job great. It’s like when your partner has their fingers in or around your vagina; you don’t want them ignoring the lips and vulva, just because your clit is the most sensitive. You want everyone invited to the party.
5. You Pay Special Attention To The Frenulum
Because the frenulum resides on the underside of the penis, it’s again another area that tends to be forgotten. The frenulum is a little area of skin that is highly sensitive and is the connector of the glans (head) of the penis to the shaft. If you position your hand around the penis so your fingers are on the underside and can stroke that area while sliding your hand hands up and down, then you’re really mastering the art of the hand job.
6. You Use Lube
For starters, if your partner is uncircumcised, you don’t really need lube. In fact, foreskin actually makes giving hand jobs a piece of cake thanks to the some 20,000 nerve endings in the foreskin and the fact that it acts sort of like a second hand.
However, if your partner is circumcised, you do want to use lube, spit, you know, whatever you have the easiest access to, so there’s less friction and more warm sliding between your hands. Basically, you want it to feel similar to the warm wetness of your mouth and vagina.
7. You Listen To Signals
As always, you need to listen to your partner’s signals. Even if they don't use words to convey what feels better than something else, behavior and moaning are all dead giveaways. You don’t want to continue to do something that you notice has them cringing and trying to pull away; you want to do something that results in multiple “oohs” and “ahhs.” You may not be psychic, but anyone paying attention to their partner’s feedback and adjusts their technique accordingly is certainly good at giving hand jobs.
8. You Don't Second-Guess Yourself
What really makes for a great hand job? Confidence. When you second guess your technique or ability, it shows. Then you start to lose focus, feel a bit insecure, and suddenly what was on the verge for being insanely awesome is no more. So don't over think it. Instead, know in your heart of hearts, you're the queen of hand jobs, and you got this.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:
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