I Asked My Angels About My Love Life

My first experience with an angel happened when I was 16 and I flipped my car on my way to school. I was a new driver and the wet roads caused me to overcorrect, and because of my inexperience, I couldn’t get back on the road. I ended up in a ditch, and somehow, managed to crawl out, completely unharmed and found myself staring blankly at my shiny, newish red car, the wheels still spinning and Michelle Branch singing.

The rest of the next half-hour still feels like it’s in slow motion for me: I was pulled into a friendly woman’s SUV to keep dry until my parents arrived and the emergency personnel. She had pretty blonde hair, a warm voice and fresh coffee sitting in the passenger’s side. I didn’t drink coffee then, but I decided to that day — maybe because it was hot and I was freezing, or perhaps because I didn’t know what to think. After all, moments before, I had removed my hands from the steering wheel, covered my face and said: “Please Lord, please don’t let me die.”

I stayed with this woman, talking about what I wanted to be when I grew up, what sports I played in high school and about my family. She said her husband was a police office and was on his way, and that my family would be here soon. What seems like years later, my best friend drove by, saw my car and frantically went to search for me. I saw her and ran out of the car, crying for the first time into her hair. The firefighters arrived next, followed shortly by my family. While sitting with the sheriff on scene, I told him to thank his wife for me because she truly kept me calm in a time where everything around me was terrifying.

When he told me he didn’t have a wife, I was confused. I then asked my best friend if she saw the car I ran from. That’s when she told me that I had ran from the police car, not from a SUV. When I asked my mom who called her and she told me that I had, I couldn’t believe it: in my memory, the sweet blonde-haired lady had called my mom, her husband and kept me safe. But of everyone on the scene that morning, no one remembers her but me.

I’ve had other encounters with angels — notes left behind, signs that could only come from something bigger than all of us — but that day, I fully believed in the power of angels for the first time. There’s something comforting knowing I'm being watched and protected without having to do anything at all — angels are simply, just there.

So when I met (via the Internet) angel intuitive and energy healer, Chris Alexandria, there was no question that I wanted a reading with her. And though I’ve had many psychic readings in the past (my mom is an astrologer after all), there was something a little nerve-wracking about talking to my angels. While I’ve doubted psychic powers before (c’mon, how many $5 stands can NYC have that promise to tell your future?), I don’t doubt angels… so whatever they said about my love life surely would be true.

After spending an hour with Chris on the phone, I learned less about my future and more about my present, and what I can do to be happier in this ‘State of Single’ I’ve found myself in for years. Here’s what Chris — and my angels have to say about love:

1. My Inner Dialogue Needs To Change

When the angels commented on the language I use to talk to myself about dating, they called me out pretty harshly. I’m constantly asking why I haven’t found love, what’s wrong with me, if I’m too picky, if I’m trying hard enough, if it’ll ever happen for me, blah, blah blah. When it comes to the thoughts I entertain regarding dating, they’re all pretty negative.

Chris said instead of focusing on these worries and fears, I could try counting the reasons I’m worthy of love. This means I have to allow myself to be vulnerable — something that I’m not that good at when I’m giving myself a pep talk. I’ve been trying this technique, and I’m surprised about how hard it is to simply say good things about myself, even if it’s only in my head!

2. I Need To Remember That Career And Love Aren't Mutually Exclusive

Writing about my love life and dating for a living is something that I really enjoy. But it’s also something that I’ve always worried would turn people away. I might not use names, but my ultimate partner will need to be okay with me pulling inspiration from our relationship. Chris says my angels want me to remember that my career and love life aren’t mutually exclusive. Not only is it possible, but she sees both a great career and great love in my future. And that if I put the same deep belief that I have in my career into my love life, I’d likely have better luck. After all, I’ve never doubted my ability to be a writer… and well, you’re reading this right now.

3. I Will Meet The Man I'll Marry In The Next Six Months To Two Years

My favorite part of any reading is learning what my future partner will be like. And though he’s always been someone different depending on who you talk to, I’m pretty happy with this prediction (and I hope the meet-cute happens closer to six months than to two years or I might actually go insane).

He will be tall with a strong jaw, wavy light-colored hair and works in a career where he utilizes his hands—perhaps a photographer, an architect. His energy will be very kind, sweet and genuine, and he’ll bring me flowers. I will meet him through a friend-of-a-friend, and possibly through my work as a writer. The angels did not see us meeting via Tinder. The angels also said I’ll have three children, and that I might write children’s books after having them.

4. I Should Invest In A Gratitude Journal, Meditation, And Taking Some Time For Self-Care

My angels made a point to tell me to drink more water—which, is interesting, considering just a month ago, I was diagnosed with severe dehydration from all the exercise I’ve been doing. They also made a point to call out my love for nature and how it’s something I need more of —which is also something I’ve been thinking about (I went for a hike a few weeks ago!). They say that to find love, I need to make more of an effort to focus on self-care, relaxation, and doing the things that make me at ease. Another good idea? Starting a gratitude journal that I write in weekly (to start) to stay focused on what I do have, instead of the things I don’t.

5. At The New Moon, I Should Re-Create My Vision Board

Even though I made a vision board at the beginning of the year, the angels say I should recreate a new vision board — and make it focused on what I really want: love. One of the cards I selected highlighted the new moon as an important guide for me, so the new moon is an ideal time for me to do this — it’s when my personal energy will be the strongest.

6. Overall, It's Important For Me To Get Back To My Roots

The biggest advice from my angels were to remember who I was before I spent the last four years getting disappointed (over and over again) by dating. And though I've been feeling bitter, angry and frustrated lately, that negativity isn't my personality and by doing the above, I'll help myself get out of the rut that I'm in. The way I was raised was simple, easy and kind, and that's who I am as a person, so I could try to get back to the roots that raised me. After all, when I think about the person I want to be with, the first word that comes to mind is: genuine. So shouldn’t I work on getting back to my genuine self? The angels say so.

Now, excuse me while I open up this gratitude journal that I just bought. First up? I’m definitely thankful for all the wine that’s helping me to get up the courage to go on yet another, could-be-something date.

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