I'm going to be honest — of all the things I have hoped for in my human life, getting a taco emoji on the iOS 9.1 update was the probably the most consuming of them all. But all of my other pursuits and dreams seem that much more insignificant now that Apple finally rolled out the #blessed, infamous taco emoji we all dreamed of. That's right — if you update your phone right now, you too will be able to harass your loved ones, co-workers, and that girl you met in the bathroom that one night at the bar by finally texting them the most precious emoji that ever emoji'd.
It's actually so beautiful that typing it out feels a little bit like staring at the sun. Are we even worthy of its brilliance? Have I done enough in my human life to deserve this? I'd like to think so, as I was a small part of the large campaign to get a taco emoji, a campaign that we have wearily championed for so long that I'm pretty sure it's older than I am. But listen, guys. We just made history. I know that it's tempting to just frivolously throw the taco emoji into any old text because you can, but the truth is, the taco emoji deserves more than that. It deserves to be honored and respected, and only used in ways that can truly make the taco emoji shine.
Here are the ways to appropriately honor the taco emoji:
By Electing It Our Next President
With the new cheese emoji as its running mate, obviously.
By Coping With Our "Back To The Future Day" Disappointment
What would Marty McFly think of the Taco Emoji, though? Real talk.
By Acknowledging Its Cousin, The Burrito
It's like when two kids in your second grade class had birthdays on the same day and you were only friends with one of them, but you still had to be all, "Happy birthday, I guess, Rob."
By Confronting Our Deepest Fears
Are we ready to embrace our own destinies?
By Giving The Taco Emoji Its Own Holiday
We're getting this day off in celebration next year, right?
By FREAKING THE EFF OUT
Subtlety is key.
If anybody needs me, I'll be at the nearest taco stand simultaneously typing the taco emoji and eating several tacos to achieve TACO NIRVANA.
Image: Emma Lord
