7 Things Grown-Ass Men Do When They Go Down On You

Is there anything better than the simple beauty of good oral sex? The best orgasms, without a doubt, come after a long, sensual foreplay session, because it takes time for arousal to build. Oral sex, obviously, is one of the best parts of foreplay, but unfortunately, not everyone is great at going down.

And as most ladies probably know, when oral is bad, it's really bad. There's nothing worse than receiving gentle licks down there when you really need some intense pressure. Obviously, the easiest way to help your partner be better at oral is to tell him or her what does and doesn't turn you on, and actively communicate during sex.

In my experience, I've found that when it comes to men giving oral, guys who were bad at it tended to be a bit more immature and selfish. They gave oral reluctantly, for a short time, and only to get me "ready" for penetration. Needless to say, they weren't my sex partner for long. The best oral, hands-down, comes from mature men who put female pleasure first. Here are seven things all grown-ass men do during oral — if you aim to please, take notes.

1. He Takes His Time

This is crucial: You simply can't rush oral. Sex experts and studies agree that it takes women between 10 and 20 minutes to reach "peak arousal," and a mature man will understand that women often take longer to get aroused than men. Of course, every body is different, but the bottom line is this: A guy who is truly interested in your pleasure will never be in a hurry when it comes to giving oral.

2. He Asks What Feels Good

As with anything, communication is key. A grown-ass man doesn't just assume he's getting the job done: He actively makes sure he is, by asking his partner what sensations or movement she does and does not like down there. There's only one secret to better sex, and that's talking about what turns you on. You can have a discussion outside the bedroom, or simply give gentle instructions during sex so your partner has no doubts about what you like. But truly, nothing beats a man who's secure enough to ask, "Does that feel good?" while doing his thing down there.

3. He Plays With Your Breasts

Let's be real: Sometimes the nipples get a little lonely while the attention is focused south of the border. A guy who really knows what he's doing and enjoys pleasing a lady will take time to reach up and stimulate your nipples every now and then during oral. It'll enhance your O, plus (most) guys love playing with boobs, so it's a win-win.

4. He Uses His Fingers, Too

Speaking of enhancing your orgasm...there's nothing more satisfying than the dual pleasure of simultaneous oral and manual stimulation. By focusing on your clitoris with his mouth while stroking your G-spot with his fingers, he's almost guaranteed to make your orgasm out of this world. The best orgasms happen when you pay attention to all the parts of the vagina, not just one at at time.

5. He Mixes It Up

While there might be certain "moves" that are he knows are your go-to orgasm-inducers, a grown-ass man will want to pleasure you for as long as possible (See: #1), and will use a variety of techniques to help your orgasm really build up. Starting out slow and then gradually speeding up, switching between oral and fingering, pausing to kiss you passionately — the most exciting oral is a combination of all these, and the best lovers relish the idea of playing around and making sure you're stimulated in a lot of different, and sexy, ways.

6. He Explores The Whole Area

Oral doesn't just mean "licking the clitoris for five minutes straight." The mark of a mature man? He wants to explore your whole body (with his tongue, obvi). Whether that's gently biting your thighs or even delving into the world of anal foreplay, a grown-ass man leaves no stone (err, vagina?) unturned when it comes to giving oral. The word "anal" seems scary to butt-virgins, but trust me, if you're comfortable enough to let your partner go down on both your vagina and your butt, you won't regret it.

7. He Actually Enjoys It

This might be the most important item on this list. Just like guys get turned on by enthusiastic blow jobs, women are aroused when a man obviously loves giving oral.

Pro tip: We can totally tell when you're really into it, and not just doing it to "warm us up" before penetration (please don't say this, ever). That enthusiasm — the feeling that you want to taste and touch us — does more for our orgasm than you could ever imagine. There's nothing worse than an immature guy who "doesn't like" going down on a woman, but demands she give him blow jobs (and often). So all you oral lovers, keep doing what you're doing. I salute you.

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