Life
9 Things That Happen When You're Dating Your BFF
Dating your best friend is the best. While I wouldn't suggest dating someone you're already best friends with (in my experience you're better off maintaining the friendship), you should aim to be best friends with the person you date, especially if you're in a long term or serious relationship. Dating your best friend just makes being in a relationship that much more delicious. And it doesn't mean that person is your only best friend. As Dr. Mindy Lahiri has taught us, best friend is a tier, not a person. So while you'll still have your childhood BFF, your college BFF and your work BFF, having your boyfriend or girlfriend BFF is the cherry on top of your BFF cake.
There are good things, obviously, about dating your best friend, and also a few troublesome things — but if you ask me, the good outweighs the bad. Like doing all the things BFFs do and then also getting to have sex at the end of the day. It's The Dream. Not just any dream, THE DREAM. Don't pretend like you never wished you could transplant the brain and personality of your best friend into the person you're sleeping with. We've all done it. Here are some of the things that, for better or for worse, happen when you're dating your best friend:
1. You're Comfortable
The best thing about dating your best friend is the comfort level. You can say anything, act how you feel, wear your sweats or your party dress and everything is just marvelous. Being comfortable around the person you're dating is a real weight off your shoulders, especially when so much of the start of a relationship is spent trying to impress.
2. Like, Maybe Too Comfortable
But then of course you'll lie on the couch together picking zits and farting, and maybe sometimes that kills the romance a bit. But I say whatever. Some days you have a flatulent time, and the next day you have a sexy time. It's all part of being best friends with your SO.
3. You Can Just Hang Out Together Doing Nothing
You know when all your friends want to get boozey but you just want to sit around in silence eating pizza in your underpants? Well when your SO is your best friend, you always have someone to do nothing with, and it's just as fun as a night on the town.
4. But When You Do Stuff It's An Adventure
But then when you do get out of the house everything is an adventure. Think about how a night with your high school bestie goes — is the answer anywhere and everywhere? The same will happen when you're best friends with your SO, where you'll find yourselves drinking wine on a foreign stoop, dancing 'til the sun comes up, getting caught in the rain and instead of rushing for cover, jumping in puddles, meeting strange people on the way and generally having a wild time together and discovering new things, because that's what best friends do.
5. All You Need Is Each Other
When you're best friends with your SO, you don't have to go spend time with your partner. You get to go spend time with your bestie. There's something really wonderful about "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" time actually just being best buds time.
6. But Sometimes You Forget Other People
The only problem is that sometimes it can be easy not to socialize. Why go to a party and have to be introduced into dozens of conversations with people who are boring, that you'll probably never see again, when you can just stay at home with your lover/best friend? When everything you need (sex AND friendship) is all in one place, it can be easy to forget about the rest of the world.
7. You're Totally Yourself
There's no pretensions with your best friend, and you're free to be your best, and worst, self.
8. You Know Each Other Differently
You know when sometimes you're in a relationship with someone and they're your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and you see them and then you go see your friends and you talk about them to your friends like they're the person you're currently dating, not like they're actually part of you? When you're with your best friend, you don't gossip about them to your other friends. You think of them differently. They become a part of who you are, like any other good friend, and you merge them with your friends and life in a way you don't with someone you're just dating.
9. You Fear Losing Each Other More Than Anything
The best part of dating with your best friend is that you're with your best friend and you have the best relationship you could have ever dreamed of. The worst thing is the stabs of pain in the quiet moments when you think about what would happen if you broke up. You wouldn't just be losing your boyfriend or girlfriend. You'd be losing your best friend too, which is a far more terrifying thing.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.
