I feel about a billion years old, because apparently all of the young cool hip people find most of their porn on Tumblr. Which brings some questions to mind. What's a Tumblr? How does one "Internet"? But really, I'm new to this. I mean, I tend to stick to sites with the word "porn" right in the name, because, well, it does what it says. But there must be a reason so many people are using Tumblr for porn, and I wanted to figure out what it was.
Unfortunately, when I asked my young cool friends, they basically laughed in my face. So I had to turn to THE INTERNET, and learned that one of the cool things about Tumblr (besides the loads of porn) is how you can pick specific blogs that fit what you're looking for. It's a massive improvement on the homepages of most porn sites, which often have a mishmash of recently-posted videos clips that assault your eyes which you can never un-see. Also, Tumblr has more funny ones. Which I like, because laughing and porn are basically my two favorite things.
So here are the best places for porn (and porn-related LOLZ) on Tumblr. Obviously, these all are completely NSFW.
1. Female Boner
The name is perfect, because that is also how I feel looking at all of these ladies.
2. Indifferent Cats In Amateur Porn
This is literally just what it says it is: People doing porn with cats in the background who have no more effs to give . It's hilarious. And kind of hot ... maybe.
3. Boobs Are Cool
Yes, Internet — boobs are cool. Thank you for putting them all in one place for me.
4. Hey It's April
This isn't strictly porn so much as a porn star's personal Tumblr. But I think it's interesting (and kind of important) to get reminded of porn stars in their day to day life.
5. Erotic Storybook Saturday
If graphic isn't your thing, there are loads of places to get some super hot erotic fiction on Tumblr. It's great because you get to get off and feel classy all at once.
6. Orgasmic Tips For Girls
Some great porn for women. It is part of a bigger Tumblr that gives advice and has frank discussions about women and sex, with some porn in there was well. I like the whole thing.
7. Art Or Porn
This Tumblr just focuses on that age-old question. What's the difference between porn and art? Lighting? Subject? How much peanut butter you're eating while watching it? It's an interesting take, and has loads of hot ladies, which is obviously key.
8. How To Make Me Come
Boom. This one is super hot. Different real women outline exactly what it is that makes them come. Some are short descriptions, some are long stories, but all are really sexy and really insightful. It shows you just how different everyone is, and how much you need to listen to your partner and your body. And did I mention that it's super hot?
Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy (3)
