Lars Von Trier's career has been dedicated to stilted dialogue and making famous actors seem artsy. But if reviews for the director's films are anything to go by, it works every time. Let's rewind: He mangled Charlotte Gainsbourg's genitalia in Antichrist and then blew up Kirsten Dunst and Charlotte Gainsbourg in Melancholia and received nothing but raves. So after learning that Shia LaBeouf would star in his next film, Nymphomaniac — which will also feature real, on-screen sex — we surmised that the picture would be, as many Von Trier movies are, awkward. A first teaser from Nymphomaniac certainly supports that.
Yeah. I mean, I know I'll see it, but I also sort of hate myself for knowing so entirely that I will sit through this whole movie no matter how weird, disjointed, and confusing it will be. The only things we might have to look forward to are Charlotte Gainsbourg's boobs and a hell of a lot of sad sex, so prepare for a post-Nymphomaniac vow of abstinence and stock up on chocolate. You'll probably need the comfort.
Image: Central Partnership
