I think the most accurate depiction ever of applying for a job is the opening number from the musical A Chorus Line, which features a bunch of actors sweating through a crazy dance audition and singing their very stressed-out inner monologues. We can all relate to blurting out ,"Gee, I hope I get it" and "I really need this job" between high kicks and leaps, right? Job hunting is awful, which is why the recent AskReddit thread all about what not to do in a job interview is so particularly painful to read. Because we've all been there. Maybe. But hey, at least we can all learn a few valuable lessons from it, too.
Officially entitled, "People in charge of hiring: what's the worst way you've seen an applicant fuck up a job interview?", the thread is rife with horror stories from employers hiring for all kinds of jobs. Honestly, I was expecting it to be another example of mean-spirited, "Ha ha, Millennials are the worst, we hate them" comedy, but it's actually refreshingly diverse. People from all walks of life have the ability to screw up, in all kinds of legendary ways! What a time to be alive!
In between cringing from severe second-hand embarrassment, there are some lessons you should take away from these top interview don'ts. Just, like, basic ways to not be a socially-incompetent alien. Really easy ones to follow.
Nervous?
You should be.
1. Eat BEFORE your interview — not during it.
2. Like, just don't bring up your eating habits at all.
3. Remember, punctuality is important.
4. Nope, I said punctuality. As in, being on time?
5. A clean, proof-read resume is another must-have.
6. A clean, proof-read, HONEST resume, guys. Come on.
7. Oh, goodness, just TELL THE FREAKING TRUTH.
Because if you're not careful, it could blow up in your face. Literally.
8. Remember that job interviews are a situation in which it's just you, individually, alone, being evaluated.
9. ALONE. BY YOURSELF.
Images: Fotolia; Giphy (4)
