While puppy love and immature relationships definitely have a very important place in everyone’s lives, the reality is that it can’t always be that way. You can’t be a woman in her 20s or 30s who’s still having the same type of relationship you had when you were 19. If you do, then it’s clear sign that you’re not evolving — and life is about evolution. Every woman deserves a mature relationship, and there’s no time like the present to examine the relationship that you have with your partner and figure out if it's a mature one.
But as much as a mature relationship is important — especially for people looking to get hitched and/or have babies sometime soon — it doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to be all grown-up 24/7. You can still call in sick to work because the beach is calling your name, and you and your partner can still chase each other down the street with water guns, too.
Where your relationship does need to step it up is in how you communicate, how you deal with issues when they arise, and your ability to resolve problems without throwing childish fits about things. Basically, being in a mature relationship means thinking as a team, and considering the feelings and needs of the person you’re in a relationship with ― while chasing each other with Super Soakers, of course.
So are you in a mature relationship? Here are 11 ways to tell.
1. You Talk About Your Feelings
As much as talking about your feelings can be really hard for some people, a big sign that you’re in a mature relationship is that you can discuss these types of things. You can tell your partner when you’re hurt by something they said, or that you’re happy because of something they did. If/when they forget your anniversary, you can express your disappointment without hesitation ... while refraining from throwing a plate at their head.
2. You Can Function Without Them
Immature relationships usually have some level of neediness in them — and if you remember back to your high school relationships, you’ll realization that this is very true. Mature relationships are about being able to function as two parts of one whole, and not freaking out or obsessively checking in on your partner when you’re not physically together.
3. Your Partner Brings Out Your Best
Some people bring out your best, while others bring out your worst. In a mature relationship, your partner brings out your best. And should your worst bits make a surprise guest appearance, then they'll know how to handle that, too.
4. You Believe In Resolution, As Opposed To Running Away
Because every single couple fights, no matter how adult their relationship is, what proves ultimate maturity is working out a problem and reaching a resolution. While some arguments may have you wanting to run for the door, being in a mature relationship doesn’t allow you that. Nor do you want to end things on that note. You want to talk it all out and address those feelings.
5. A Future Together Just Feels Right
It’s not like it just hits you one day, but at some point, you realize that all your future plans include this person, and it’s suddenly not scary. In fact, if anything is scary, it’s the thought of them not being part of your future.
6. You Can’t Remember The Last Time You Were Jealous
Although jealousy can be healthy in small doses, in a mature relationship, there’s not much of it, because you trust each other implicitly. You know that you don’t have to fear that your partner is going to betray you, because cheating is child’s play, and the actions of a weak and immature person.
7. You Accept Their Quirks
When they snore, they make a noise of what you imagine a dying horse would make, and yet you accept it. Some days, you even love that weird noise, even though you can’t even begin to fathom where it comes from.
8. You Can Openly Talk About Sex With Them
Because sex is so important to keeping things happy and healthy, a mature relationship is one in which both you and your partner discuss your sexual desires, your insecurities, your fantasies, where you each need a bit of work, and how to make your sex life even better. In fact, not being able to talk about those things is a total disservice to what goes on — not just between the sheets, but everywhere else in your relationship, too.
9. You Have An Equal Partnership
Even if one person makes more than the other, there can still be an equal partnership because each brings what they can to the relationship. And if you’re in a relationship, that means 150 percent, always.
10. You Have Communication Down To A Science
Communication, communication, communication. It's simply the most important factor in a relationship, most especially a mature one. If you’re communicating everything and anything, then you and your partner get a gold star.
11. You’re Not Afraid To Tell Them That You Care About Them
For some, saying the words “I love you,” is a big deal, and can even be a little daunting. It’s as if once those words are out there, you can’t take them back, so you'd better be secure in them once they fall from you mouth. The thing with a mature relationship, though, is that expressing your love for your partner — whether it's with those three words or another way — isn't so scary, and actually feels good and safe every single time.
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