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Who's More Likely To Suggest An Open Relationship

by Lea Rose Emery

I hate the traditional idea that men have a wandering eye, because experience and every friend I've ever had tells me that everyone flirts and looks outside of the relationship. But, according to a new survey, it may actually be women that are pushing for a whole lot more than that. OpenMinded.com a site for— you guessed it— open relationships has over 64,000 couples registered on their site. The interesting thing is that in a recent survey of their members they found that more women want an open relationship than men. In two-thirds of relationships, it was the woman who suggested opening up the relationship. You go, girls.

According to AskMen, OpenMinded's founder, Brandon Wade, said that it has more to do with women "preserving their relationships at all costs." That "it's not that their partners aren't fulfilling, it's more about rekindling relationships that aren't working. Men often step out, and women take a step inward and let an open relationship bring them closer." Which to me... sounds like utter BS.

The idea that women are sexually open and adventurous only as an attempt to keep a man is patronizing and ludicrous. We already to know that women are far more likely to seek out threesomes, group sex, and other non-monogamous porn than men are, so maybe the reason they're up for the idea of open relationships because they're into open relationships or maybe, shock horror, the men they're with just aren't fulfilling their sexual needs.

In any case, open relationships and polyamory are in the rise, and here are three benefits of open relationships:

1. Non-Monogamous Marriages Are Linked To Being Happier

One 2014 study, from James Fleckenstein and Derrell Cox II of the University of Oklahoma, compared 502 people in consensual non-monogamous relationships to 723 people from the general U.S. population and found that those in consensual non-monogamous relationships were happier.

2. ...And Healthier

The same study found that those in non-monogamous relationships were also healthier, although it should be noted that's how they reported feeling rather than medical test results.

3. It Builds Communication Skills

While non-monogamy is traditionally associated with affairs and secrecy, polyamory is all about being in the open. Instead of keeping things secret, psychologist Bjarne Holmes says that, on the contrary "people in these relationships really communicate." There's no other way to keep multiple meaningful relationships going.

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new video on sex positions for small penises.

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