Our favorite imaginary Bachelor In Paradise couple is no more — Jared, even though he had broken up with Ashley I. like three other times, finally sat down with Ashley and told her that though he had enjoyed their night in the Fantasy Suite (they did not have sex, confirmed by Jared), he just wasn’t where he wanted to be in order to continue their relationship. Ashley, of course, cried and said that there was no other guy in the world. And so went the very public breakup between Ashley I. and Jared.
Props to Jared for his honesty. I really respect the fact that he was able to look within himself and evaluate his feelings for Ashley. There are plenty of people who would ignore all of the red flags in a relationship just for the chance to have a companion. Jared recognized that he wasn’t as invested in them as a couple as Ashley was, and that’s totally mature. Their conversation went a little something like this:
“I had a great time last night. I just don’t know…as bad as I wanted it to be there… I don’t know if our connection is strong enough right now.”
“You’re saying you want to go home tomorrow?”
“I’m going to leave right now. It’s not OK for me to stay here.”
Ashley let Jared go, saying that at least she knew that “the total package” was out there.
Oh, Ashley. You’re going to find your lobster, don’t worry! In fact, here are a bunch of types of guys who would be super into the Kim Kardashian enthusiast:
Someone Who Isn’t Afraid To Get Emotional
Um, Ashley cries all the time. Not that she needs a guy who cries all the time (because that would be a lot of crying), but she needs a man who is not afraid of a few tears and a whole lotta of mascara smudging.
Someone Who Loves The Kardashians
Ashley’s love for the Kardashians is very, very well known (she was so sad when Kris Jenner cancelled on After Paradise)! Any guy that Ashley dates needs to be okay with her marathoning Keeping Up With The Kardashians on Sundays.
Someone Who Is Drama-Free
Though smart, pretty, and a whole lotta fun, Ashley’s reactions to everything are very over the top. Two dramatic people do not make a great relationship, so Ashley needs someone who is the least dramatic. Yin and yang, you know?
Don’t worry, Ashley. Jared is not the only guy for you. There's surely someone out there in the world that's even better than Jared.
Images: Rick Rowell/ABC (2); giphy
