I've put a lot of thought into what my token would be if I were ever to compete in the Hunger Games, and after all this time I finally found it: the Leatherdos hair clip multi tool, colloquially dubbed the "swiss army hair clip". Even if you don't anticipate getting thrust into an angsty teenage battle-to-the-death wilderness situation any time in the near future, this hair accessory looks more than worth the nine dollar investment. Not only does it look way more durable as a hair clip than any of the ones I've actually owned, it doubles as seven different tools on one tiny, extremely compact surface. Basically it is already more useful than I've ever been as a human being in 24 years, so mad props.
As a person who thrives on being smugly over-prepared, this is basically a dream come true. And considering the unruliness of my Hermione-esque mane, it wasn't invented a moment too soon. This right here is the kind of thing you want somebody on your zombie apocalypse survival time to have had the forethought to buy. Sorry, guys, I'm already booked — or I'm assuming I will be, because why wouldn't Taylor Swift accept my proposition with a hair clip like this?
Here are all the boss things this itty bitty hair accessory can morph into to keep you and your fellow tributes alive:
A Screwdriver
For fixing the radio transmission that leads back to the spaceship with the last surviving humans on board.
A Knife
For when you get shipwrecked in the same jungle as Tarzan and have to build yourself a treehouse out of rope.
Slingshot/Temporary Candle
For living out all of your impractical Lost Boys of Neverland dreams.
Tiny Screwdriver/Peeler
For when you want to cut fruit up and look like a boss.
Vegetable Peeler
I don't know why anybody would want to do this (are vegetables still a thing?) but hey, here it is, y'all. Juuuust in case.
All in all, the hair clip multi tool can serve as a two different sizes of screwdriver, a wrench, a trolley coin, a ruler, and a cutting edge. So watch out, zombies. Here we come.
Images: Oddity Mall (7)
