Miley's New Songs, Ranked By Insanity

If you haven't heard, a lot of things happened at the MTV Video Music Awards. There was that Nicki Minaj performance, that crazy Kanye speech (and presidential run announcement), Taylor's win for "Bad Blood," and, oh yeah, that time Miley Cyrus announced a new album, released on her website free of charge and available to stream. Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz, complete with 23 brand new tunes, is officially out, and it comes complete with some of the craziest song titles you could possibly imagine. Seriously — if you thought #GetItRight was a weird name for a song, just wait until you get to "Slab of Butter (Scorpion)" on the list of Miley Cyrus' new song titles.

Not that I'm surprised, though; this is Cyrus we're talking about, an artist who puts her passion, creativity, and yes, weirdness into everything she does. It's no shocker that her new album is filled with crazy song names, although I'll admit that even I was a bit taken aback when I got to "Milky Milky Milk." Here are the 23 songs off the tracklist of Cyrus' new album, ranked from "she's just being Miley" to "sweet niblets, these song titles are insane!"

23. "Lighter"

Nice and normal. It could be a song on a Taylor Swift album! (I'm choosing to ignore the fact that it very well could be about a smoking-related lighter, not the other meaning of the word.)

22. "Twinkle Song"

The album ender, this is simple and sweet-sounding. I like it.

21. "1 Sun"

Well this is... true.

20. "Dooo It!"

This is the song we all heard during the VMAs, all about smoking pot and doing whatever she wants — aka your typical Miley Cyrus song, but with a distinctly new sound.

19. "Cyrus Skies"

I like this one. It's normal. It's quaint.

18. "Tangerine"

Featuring Big Sean! Don't miss this fruit-named track.

17. "Tiger Dreams"

I'm really hoping this song, featuring Ariel Pink, is just an ode to Alan from The Hangover.

16. "I Get So Scared"

I'd be terrified, too, if I had a song on my album called "Slab Of Butter (Scorpion)."

15. "I Forgive Yiew"

But we don't forgive yiew, Miley. Not now, and after this album surprise, maybe not ever.

14. "I'm So Drunk"

But I thought this album was about weed?! I'm so confused.

13. "The Floyd Song" (AKA Sunrise)

This seems to be a tribute to her beloved dog Floyd, who died of cancer in 2014.

12. "Karen Don’t Be Sad"

Who is Karen?! So many questions.

11. "Something About Space Dude"

I assume this song is exactly what it sounds like.

10. "BB Talk"

Like a baby? Or a BB gun? Again: so many questions, Miley.

9. "F*ckin F*cked Up"

I imagine this was her state of being throughout this entire song-titling process.

8. "Evil Is But A Shadow"

This sounds like something Kanye said in his VMAs speech.

7. "Pablow The Blowfish"

I presume this song falls under the category of "actual odes to Miley's Dead Petz."

6. "Bang Me Box"

I hope this isn't literal.

5. "Fweaky"

THIS ENTIRE ALBUM IS FWEAKY.

4. "Milky Milky Milk."

A song dedicated to the benefits of calcium, as all the great artists do. Because that's what this is about, right? Right?!

3. "Space Bootz"

What are space bootz, you ask? Welcome to the crazy world of Miley Cyrus.

2. "Miley Tibetan Bowlzz"

Um... I'm just gonna pretend I understand this one, and move on.

1. "Slab Of Butter (Scorpion)"

This beautifully-named song features Sarah Barthel of Phantogram. I only hope she knew what she was getting into.

Thank you, Miley, for presenting the world with such a beautiful gift. I say that in all sincerity: I can only hope that more artists decide to name their songs things like "Space Bootz" and "Fweaky" and have as much fun doing so as Cyrus seems to have had.

Images: Giphy (5)