Give Britney A Chance!

Well, this news ruined my week: Britney Jean debuted at number four on the Billboard 200. Number four. Britney Spears. Not number one. My brain can't breathe. And! The sales were the lowest debut sales for Spears. Excuse me? What's happening. How did this happen. This report is especially crushing given that Spears called Britney Jean her most personal album yet. How could we do this to Britney Spears? She put her heart out on the table, and we turned up our noses at it.

Why didn't Britney Spears slay the Billboard 200? My guess: The pre-release iTunes stream and the reviews. A lot of the feedback was not favorable. I'm not knocking the negative reviews. People are entitled to their opinions, and I totally agree with some of the criticism that is out there. The album isn't perfect. But I challenge everyone to give it another chance because there are some seriously amazing pop music moments. Does the album change all of music for forever? No. But that's okay. When I'm listening to the album, I'm too busy having fun to realize envelopes aren't being pushed or whatever. Here are my 12 favorite moments from the album (and just a few of the reasons why I stand by my decision to purchase it):

1. Much has been made of Spears's accent on "Work Bitch," but I think it is genius. "Pahty in Frahnss" makes me laugh every single time. GENIUS. Don't you forget it.<img src="http://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/51/17aa7c80-45ba-0131-23f2-0edfd2e1b995.gif?w=320"/>
2. "Work Bitch" genius, continued: "Heehr comes the smash-ah." Holy crap. "Heehr comes the smash-ah" is my favorite lyric from 2013.
3. The laser noises in "It Should Be Easy." A handful of laser noises can go a long way. This song has 35 handfuls of laser noises. And they go a very long way.
4. Britney's underwater robot voice in "It Should Be Easy" is life-changing. Auto-Tune rules.[Embed]
5. In "Alien," Spears repeats the phrase "Not alone" 67 times and it makes me contemplate the existence of aliens. Okay, I know the song is a metaphor, BUT that doesn't make the extraterrestrial-themed lyrics any less hilarious/perfect.
6. A specific highlight from "Alien": The lyric "Travel through the night riding on a shooting star." That imagery is gorgeous. May it never leave my mind.
7. Everything about "Perfume."<img src="http://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/51/26509eb0-45ba-0131-b8b3-36effed03b6b.gif?w=320"/>
8. I'm obsessed with whatever those noises are that happen during "Body Ache." I've spent five minutes trying to put the sounds into words. It can't be done. I won't spend another second on it. Just know that the noises are really important to me.[Embed]
9. "Chillin' With You." It is a Britney Jean/Jamie Lynn Spears duet. Thank you, the universe.
10. Is "Passenger" a sweet love song, or is it jam-packed with innuendos? Who knows. That's the beauty of art, right? Subject to interpretation!
11. In "Til It's Gone," Spears sings, "You never know what you got til it's gone." It's an important reminder. May we never forget to appreciate Spears and all she's given us.
12. The following line from "Tik Tik Boom": "You've got a sex siren in your face." I'm speechless.

Images: britneyspearsgifs/tumblr