The 'Heathers' Musical Is Finally Happening

If you were feeling low on your bitchy teen iconography, we've got some good news for you: The Heathers: The Musical is finally heading to Off Broadway. Get ready for more teen angst to wrack up a body count — and a track list. Pardon me as I drop non-sequitor Heathers quotes throughout this article.

"Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?" Heathers: The Musical, which is, you guessed it, based off of the 1988 cult classic film Heathers, has been in the works for quite a while, and in fact had a concert at Joe's Pub in 2010. But it has yet to see a theatrical stage with a wider audience, and now it's got its chance.

"Did you hear? School's canceled today 'cause Kurt and Ram killed themselves in a repressed homosexual suicide pact." The show is set to open in March at the New World Stages. The book and lyrics are by Lawrence O'Keefe and Kevin Murphy, who did Legally Blonde and Reefer Madness, respectively. "What's the upchuck factor on that?" Well actually very low, because both of those are awesome and this news makes me very excited.

Lick it up, baby. Lick. It. Up.

(I love my dead gay son)