No judgment or anything, but apparently there are people out in the world who are naming their babies after Game of Thrones characters. And not a few people scattered around that you heard of through a friend of a friend — enough people that this is a documented trend being picked up on by the Office for National Statistics. The ONS took a look at the most popular names for England and Wales in the year 2014, and I'll be damned if they didn't come out with some that have a distinct George R.R. Martin-esque tinge to them. We're talking six babies named "Sansa," four named "Brienne" (which was a new entry for them, by the by), nine named "Daenerys," 53 named "Khaleesi," of all things, and a whopping 244 babies named "Arya." OK, maybe I'm judging a little.
Although, actually, the more I think about it, the more I'm realizing that those are actually pretty great names. No, "Khaleesi," I'm not talking about you, but "Sansa" and "Arya" and "Brienne" are reasonable names that I can imagine people hearing on the show and taking a shine to. That makes sense to me. But there are definitely some names from the series and the television show that are not quite so reasonable. Names that no kid, no matter how beautiful she is or how into fantasy her parents are, could possibly survive.
So lest you give a child one of them, here are the 11 Game of Thrones names that you should never inflict on your child.
1. Hot Pie
First of all, you gotta be pretty hot to have the word "hot" right in your name. Second of all, Hot Pie?
2. Aenys
Say it out loud. Please don't do that to a child.
3. Sweetrobin
Just no.
4. Myrcella
Just can't get behind a name with this many murky sounds in it.
5. Rattleshirt
Seems like it would put a lot of pressure on your kid to always wear a shirt that rattles.
6. Craster
"We named you after an old man from a storybook who lives out in the woods sleeping with his daughters and murdering his sons! Do you love it???"
7. The B*stard
I know people it's happening more and more that people are having kids without being married — and I'm living proof! — but, however true it is, walking around with a moniker like "The B*stard" is decidedly less impressive when you aren't standing on top of an ice wall.
8. Robb
YOU DON'T NEED THAT EXTRA "B." GET IT OUT OF HERE. DON'T LET ME SEE IT 'ROUND THESE PARTS AGAIN.
9. Grey Worm
Do I really need to explain this one?
10. Hodor
(Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor.)
11. Joffrey
Not a bad name, honestly, just such an evil, unredeemable character that you'd have to really have it out for your kid to saddle him with it.
So, even if you do go with a GoT name for your precious bundle of joy, please make sure it's one that your kids can actually enjoy, and that won't leave you facing a vengeful death at their hands, a la Tywin Lannister. Just looking out.
Images: HBO; Giphy (11)
