If The 'Big Brother' Cast Was Superheroes...

Few things excite me more in life than new Big Brother content so imagine my fervent delight when I woke up this morning and found these comic book versions of the Big Brother 17 houseguests. Talk about a blissful way to start off your day. The group of artists behind this project did comic versions of all 16 BB 16 houseguests and, though they have just released 6 comic book covers thus far, there will undoubtedly be more to come. But what superpowers will the other Big Brother houseguests have?

This is a talented bunch of houseguests (or, at least, talented at not getting evicted) and each houseguest has something unique to contribute to the house. It only makes sense that these unique attributes would make great superpowers in the case that the Big Brother house happened to be sitting on a bunch of radioactive waste or infested with supernatural radioactive spiders. Wouldn't that be a twist? You're welcome, CBS.

But seriously, if you haven't seen them yet, check out these awesome Big Brother comic book covers and join me in contemplating what powers the rest of the houseguests will have when they are immortalized in comic form.

Liz & Julia: The Terrible Talking Twins

Though this devilish duo might seem harmless, the minute they open their mouths, watch out! Their tongues fly faster than the speed of light, punishing the ears of all around them with their Valley Girl accent. You might think this is just an annoyance... until the terrible Talking Twins burst your eardrums with their incessant chatter!

Vanessa: Protector Of The Word

Vanessa's power is simple. She cannot go back on her word. She is obsessed with 'the word,' constantly defending its honor. All hail the word! Should you go back on your word, you might find yourself subjected to her most punishing power: her never-ending tears which will drown you and burn your skin with their salty passion as you slowly fade into unconsciousness.

Austin: The Clinger

Though you might think the number '10' on Austin's superhero costume stands for the number of times he's made you dry-heave with secondhand embarrassment this season, you would be mistaken. That 10 stands for Stage 10, as in Stage 10 clinger. The Clinger's weakness is female attention. The slightest indication of interest will attract him like moth to flame. The Clinger's key strengths are self-sabotage, suffocating his prey, and deluding himself into believing that his prey love him in a weird case of reverse Stockholm syndrome.

Shelli: The Golden Goddes

Her ombre tresses harness the power of a thousand suns, blinding those who dare cross her. Shelli is a benevolent superhero; her radiant locks are only used in the most dire of circumstances. When Shelli is not battling her foes with her golden rays of pain, she emits a faint ethereal light that soothes all those around her.

Meg: Invisible Girl

Invisible Girl floats through walls and listens in on conversations without anyone noticing. When she does materialize, she resembles Taylor Swift, drawing her male prey in with her red lipstick. Then, once they have accepted her into their horny, open arms, Meg goes invisible, only to be seen again when she has gathered valuable intel. Her flower crown is the secret to her powers; one touch of her crown renders her invisible to the human eye.

Becky: The Conductor

Becky is the strongest superhero in the house. Becky suffered a severe trauma earlier in life when a train hit her in the face. Some radioactive paint on the front of the train imbued her with special powers and, because the train (which was obviously anthropomorphic) felt bad about the accident, all trains are now indebted to Becky. Her signature move is to shout "I'll run a train on you" right before she sends a train barreling down the rails of retribution towards her enemy.

James: Country Man

James is a deadly enemy to have. His head-to-toe camoflauge renders him impossible to see when he wants to be hidden and when he's not camoflauged, he masquerades in plain sight as an Asian man. With a look at his prey and one touch of his camoflauge visor, James the Country Man turns his enemy into a taxidermied animal to hang in his gameroom full of trophies.

Johnny Mac: The Deranged Dentist

Johnny Mac's gleaming teeth are not just a side effect of great oral hygiene; they're the secret to his powers. His pearly whites blind enemies and stop them in their tracks. If that doesn't vanquish them, his sonorous shouts will shatter their eardrums, giving him the time he needs to whip out his dental drill and finish the job.

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Images: CBS; Giphy (4)