I know we're all excited about the fact that Britney Spears will be guest-starring on Jane the Virgin , but before we get all caught up in the fever of discussing her role — she'll be playing herself, the mortal enemy of Rogelio de la Vega — or when it will air — on Oct. 12, the fifth episode of the show's second season — we need to take a quick breather and talk about her comeback. This is gonna be a contentious opinion, but I honestly don't think she's had it yet.
We've certainly been talking about it for years, saying this album would be the comeback, or this tour, or this video, or this TV performance. And, every time, I get all geared up, ready to get a glimpse of Old Britney, or even New Britney, only to get my hopes dashed again when that spark isn't there. Part of me wonders if it's gone forever, if we burned through the nonrenewable resource that was Britney Spears back in the 2000s, and we'll never get that back. And, even now, I still think there's a big difference between the Britney Spears of now and the Britney Spears of days past, and we all know that. Or I do, anyway, and I'm tired of being alone in this sensation.
Here are seven pieces of proof that we're still waiting on that Britney Spears comeback that we were promised all the way back in 2007.
1. She Was Accused Of Phoning It In At Her Vegas Residency
There have been some questions about Britney's level of enthusiasm onstage during her residency. Accusations of lip-syncing and painted on abs abounded, which is not a good look in a pop star who is supposedly "back."
2. Her Last Album Was Two Years Ago
And, if you're a musical artist who isn't making music, what's up???
3. ...And It Was Britney Jean
It's great she put something out, but not great that it was her lowest-charting album of all time. Doesn't add much to the case that she's coming back into her prime.
4. "Pretty Girls" Wasn't The Monster Hit It Was Supposed To Be
With Iggy Azalea and Britney Spears on the same song, I think we were all expecting a blowout, especially with all the promo that was being done for the video. But, instead, we got something that was more WTF than anything else. Not super memorable, and I don't need to hear it again, unlike the earlier work that either of the two of them has done separately.
5. That How I Met Your Mother Cameo Was Lackluster
Remember back in the day when she did a cameo as a secretary on How I Met Your Mother ? And everyone was saying how it was so impressive and such great proof that she was back? Is it possible that we were all just relieved she did a good job? Because I really wasn't blown away by it, and, as Entertainment Weekly puts it, "If the best thing one can say about Britney Spears’... guest appearance on How I Met Your Mother is that her performance did not debase or degrade the CBS show — hey, we’ll take it."
6. Just Saying Something Is A Comeback Doesn't Make It So
See, for example, her disastrous "comeback performance" at the 2007 VMAs. Still smarting from that one.
7. X Factor Wasn't A Good Fit
I think a lot of people were hoping that being a judge on a reality TV panel would be the thing that jolted Britney back to herself, where she could excel and be charming. Instead, she looked so uncomfortable and out of her element every week that I was relieved when she didn't come back for another season. Simon Cowell wasn't too fond of her season either.
So, at the end of the day, as great as Britney Spears is, I still don't think we've seen her come back to what she really could be. And as a fan of hers, that's what I want to see, and, any time we're satisfied with less, we're selling her short of her full potential.
Images: YouTube (1); Giphy (4)
