What's Going On With The New 'Star Wars' Trailer?

As someone who was coerced into playing with a bevy of Star Wars action figures as a child, and once hit a family friend in a sensitive area with a plastic lightsaber, I would say I'm pretty excited about Stars Wars: The Force Awakens . Like, after the prequels, I'm understandably skeptic about the premise of new Star Wars films, but that in no way diminishes my level of intrigue that continues to rise with every new peak at the upcoming film. That includes a recent Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer that gives another look at the film... and leaves us with so many questions.

So, how much more do we get to see of the new Star Wars episode? Well, as one YouTube commentator succinctly puts it, "Yay, 3 seconds of new footage." It's a glimpse, not a whole new world. But this kind of tease is enough to get the imagination running wild, and my brain is now percolating with so many wonderings. I just want December to hurry up and get here, so someone could ease my fragile little mind.

But, until then, feel free to sit and wonder with me. Here sre burning questions the new Force Awakens trailer has left me with, unfiltered for your amusement.

1. Are Those Stormtroopers, And If So Why Do Their Helmets Look So Weird From The Back?

See, historically Stormtrooper helmets have the the two little black vents, but these guys have one black strip. Maybe they're not actually Stormtroopers, but the framing of this would suggest that. All those black-clad men feel very Sith-y. Also, hey, what's with the gigantic army, that's kind of weird.

2. Why Is This Ominous Dark Helmet Character Carrying A Gun?

Whoa, I know that ray blasters exist in the Star Wars universe (it's why we have "Han shot first" debates), but gun control should definitely be enforced when it comes to crazed evil Sith lords. Other than that, I'm very happy to see Rick Moranis is working again.

3. Oh, Look, It's Tri-Saber Guy Again. Is This Adam Driver Or Nah?

I feel like it very much could be because I've watched Girls all the way through five times, and Frances Ha a casual six, and that lanky body posture makes this a definite maybe.

4. OK, So This Prominently Featured Brunette Chick Has To Be Someone's Kid, Right?

We know her name is Rey and Wookieepedia vaguely lists her as a "human female scavenger," but it wouldn't be unlikely for this chick to be a Solo or a Skywalker, right? Adopted by another family for her protection like Luke and Leia before her? Like, I would place money on it.

5. WHOA, Did Tie Fighter Outfits Get Upgraded From Two Hoses To A Streamlined Singular Hose?

That is some minimalist glamor right there.

6. When Will I Get To Own A BB-8?

In case you were uninformed, this little bugger is NOT CGI, and, since I'm not allowed to have a dog in my apartment building, I just want like six of these.

7. YO, DID THE MILLENNIUM FALCON JUST GET SHOT THERE?!

It may just be a close call, but I just want to remind everyone that Harrison Ford really wanted Han to die in Return of the Jedi, and in fact Han did die in early drafts of the script. We know that Han and Chewie are coming back, but could it only be to dramatically kill the former off in the last fifteen minutes, just pulling an Obi Wan Kenobi? STAY TUNED!

Images: YouTube/Lucasfilms (8)