Britney Deep Cuts That'd Slay At Karaoke Night

When it comes to the ancient art of karaoke, I try to stick to the following three rules: 1) if I'm going to sing a song with a minute-long instrumental break, I should plan out what I'm going to do with those 60+ seconds ahead of time so I don't wind up staring at the ground and mumbling "I'm sorry" into the microphone until the vocals pick back up; 2) when in doubt, choose a Britney Spears song (Bustle's own Kaitlin Reilly put together an excellent list of Britney classics that are nothing short of perfect for the karaoke stage); 3) if I'm going to sing an obscure track and I don't want to lose the audience's attention entirely, I have to really go for it.

I've yet to muster up the courage to choose an obscure track at 'aoke night. But if I ever do, it will be an obscure Britney Spears track. Obviously.

Following my colleague's lead, I’ve combed through Brit Brit’s discography for some made-for-karaoke deep cuts. Songs that you might've forgotten about. Songs that might not appear in your standard karaoke songbook. Songs that you might've never considered scribbling onto a karaoke request slip. Songs that, if done right, could earn you a standing ovation.

The secret to performing any of these songs? Commitment, commitment, commitment.

"Don't Go Knockin' On My Door"

If only for the robo-staccato “Don’t. Go. Knock. My. Door.” intro.

"Dear Diary"

"I'd like to introduce you to someone special," you'd tell the audience as you welcomed one of your friends to the stage (or if you were feeling extra ambitious, you'd pick a complete stranger), "and that someone special is my diary."

And then, you'd proceed to deliver the entire song to your special guest. It'd be so beautiful.

“Cinderella”

Intense spoken word interlude? Check. A part where it sounds like ghosts are singing “I’m so sorry” over and over? Check. An excuse to wear tiara onstage? Check.

“Hot As Ice”

Put your head voice to the test.

“Girl In The Mirror”

Bring a mirror onstage. Sing at your reflection. Never break eye contact with yourself. The crowd will either go wild or be too weirded out to appreciate it. Hope for the former.

"Toy Soldier"

This only works if you march in place the entire time.

"E-mail My Heart"

How is this ode to electronic mail not a karaoke bar staple?

“Me Against The Music” Feat. Madonna (Kanye West Remix)

(NOTE: I'd be willing to bet the delicious cup of coffee I'm drinking right now that this *~super rare~* remix has yet to appear on a karaoke song list. Please let me know if you ever see this unicorn of a jam at an 'aoke bar.)

You could perform this as a duet with a buddy. That’d be the safest option. My challenge to you: push the envelope a little bit, i.e., sing Godney’s part and Her Madgesty’s part. Spend the week leading up to karaoke night perfecting your Britney impression and your Madonna impression. If you nail this performance, the crowd will be blown away by your shapeshifting abilities.