Entertainment

Joey Fatone's New Commercial is Depressing

by Lia Beck

Bad news, 'Nsync fans. Joey Fatone is doing hair restoration commercials. This might not seem that shocking right now in 2013, but think back to your year 2000 self. Channel that mindset. During the era of "It's Gonna Be Me" and music videos involving dancing marionettes, hearing that in 13 years a member of 'Nsync would be in hair transplant commercials would be devastating. It would make you question what kind of a world we live in that someone from one of the biggest pop music groups ever could end up not only balding, but solving it with hair plugs and starring in a commercial to promote them.

But here we are. Joey Fatone is in informercials for Bosley and we're all forced to think about how this cycle is just going to continue and continue until the end of celebrity time. That's right, people who are young and popular and being drooled over by tweens right now are going to end up aging. Ah! The horror! Here's the infomercials some of them might end up on in 15 years.

Justin Bieber

Picturing the Biebz as a 34-year-old is weird enough on it's own, but it's easy to see him turning out like Charlie Sheen. Like, Charlie Sheen at his craziest, not Charlie Sheen who sort of got it back together. If we're going to be hopeful though, Bieber will have made it through that phase by 2028 and will be on infomercials for Proactiv. Yes, I know he already does those, but clearly he's gonna look like he's 15 forever, so he'll probably have the skin issues that go along with adolescence.

Someone From One Direction That Isn't Harry Styles

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Harry Styles will make it out okay. The other guys though? Maybe not. First, Harry will drop out of One Direction in a Ginger Spice-like move that will wreck the group and their fans. By 2028 the remaining members will be appearing on commercials to support tourism in Great Britain.

Ariana Grande

Naturally, Ariana will be on an infomercial for an anti-aging product. She's 20 right now and looks about 12, so when she's 35 she'll look, like, 22 assuming that's how it works.

Miley Cyrus

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Miley will end up on those super sad ASPCA commercials with the puppies that look like they're about to cry. She likes dogs and the idea of Miley Cyrus singing over a montage of adoptable pets is hilarious. That, or a workout video called Twerk Yourself Fit.

Selena Gomez and Austin Mahone

To Justin Bieber's great disappointment, these two — his ex and the guy who just might be him if you squint hard enough — pair up to promote a CD collection of hits spanning the years of their youth.

Check out Joey Fatone's commercial for yourself below. Feel free to sob while watching old 'Nsync videos afterward.