Remember The Campy Fun Of "Ooh La La"?

Whether we want to admit it or not, all of us have a deep love (or hate, or fear, depending on the circumstances) of old Britney Spears videos. Or is that just me? Though "I Wanna Go" forever holds the gold medal as the weirdest Britney Spears video, there are still a few that remain just generally awful in their own right. And, arguably, the most awful (at least top five) has got to be the Smurfs 2 promo video, "Ooh La La."

In case you're wondering what could be wrong with it, let me say it again: Smurfs 2 promo video. You don't have to have watched Smurfs 2 to know this music video is going to be less about the music, and more about, well, the Smurfs. About half of it is just out-of-context clips from the film, but the other is constructed of strange interactions between Spears and her boys. They're both adorable, of course, because they've got Spears' genes, but, really, the only thing that would've made this video more uncomfortable is if Kevin Federline made a cameo.

So, with that in mind, the video needs a thorough rewatch and a chronological breakdown, and who better to do that than me? Relive the video below, and then scroll down further to see me try to make sense of it.

1. "Check This Out! This Is The Best Part Right Here!"

SHHHHHHH!! Spears, just because you're famous doesn't mean you get to talk through a movie. Sean and/or Jayden is giving some deep side-eye at those manners.

2. Then Britney Gets A Shock Treatment Through The Movie Screen, Because Of Course She Does.

As she slowly burns into ash, her offspring giggle and eat more popcorn.

3. "Oh No, Wait, It Transported Me Into The Movie, Ya'll!"

It is here that Spears would claim herself ruler and start systematically stomping Smurfs who went against her reign with her $3000 heels.

4. "Hi Mom!"

"Can you pick us up some Cheetos while you're out?

5. Smurfette Jumps On Britney's Hand And Britney Is SO Honored.

This is like, the best day of her life.

6. Smurfette Blows A Kiss And Britney Swallows It.

What? How on earth is that a normal response?

7. Britney, Too Exhausted From Lip Syncing And Being Transported To A Magical Land, Let's The Smurfs Do All The Choreography.

Oh my smurfing Smurf.

8. Throughout This, The Tiny Spears Boys Look So Uniquely Uncomfortable.

Even they're embarrassed to be in a music video about Smurfs 2.

9. And After All This Britney Never Gets Home.

She just stays inside the movie screen forever. Good luck fending for yourself, kids!

Images: YouTube (10)