Entertainment

Remember Aqua's "Lollipop (Candyman)" Music Video?

by Kristie Rohwedder

Do you like ear candy pop songs from the late '90s? Do you like ear candy pop songs from the late '90s about candy? Do you like outer space? If you answered "Of course I do, you dweebosaurus rex" to all three questions, HAVE I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU! In the year 1997, bubblegum dance/pop quartet Aqua released a music video for "Lollipop (Candyman)". Contrary to what you might expect, the video for "Lollipop (Candyman)" is not set in a candy shop or in Candyland or in Willy Wonka's factory. Those settings would be too on-the-nose. Instead, it takes place in deep space. It is Aqua: The Final Frontier.

If you've never seen the vid for the fourth single off of Aquarium, here's what you've been missing out on: The "Lollipop (Candyman)" music video is more or less what happens when the "Barbie Girl" vid boards a rocket ship equipped with a robo-confectioner and heads to a planet inhabited by Mars Attacks! rejects. It's fun. It's thrilling. It's iguana-tastic.

This morning, I revisited the music video for "Lollipop (Candyman)" for the first time in a long time. I jotted some notes down as the video trucked along. Here are the most important thoughts that popped up in my mind while I watched the vid:

Is that what...

...I think it is?

Houston, we have a red Solo cup/Krazy straw combo:

This top is so stunning. If I wasn't such a wuss about crop tops, I'd buy one just like it in a heartbeat.

What is this doohickey? I don't know. It's too futuristic for me to comprehend.

Yeah, this teleportation appliance is cool and all, but...

...I'm sorry, are these VELOUR SHOES attached to VELOUR BELL-BOTTOMS? Gimmegimmegimmegimme.

In addition to the velour shoe-pants, I also require one pair of these marshmallow shoes ASAP:

More homes should come equipped with a candy-making robot:

Is he pouring Gak in a drinking glass? Is he going to chug Gak?

When the planet runs out of water, will humankind start drinking Gak?

Does that Gak ever make it into the glass or no?

Lene's wig game in this video is fire. Here is the "Limited Too Salesperson By Day, Raver By Night" look:

Here's the "I Figured Out The Equation Just In The Nick Of Time!" look:

Here's the "Every Eve Is New Year's Eve" look:

Here's the "Gel Manicures, But For Hair" look:

And here's the "Oops, I Fell Asleep On Top Of A Box Of Creamsicles" look:

Speaking of hair, I sincerely hope that helmet didn't muss up this gorgeous 'do:

I want to live on Iguana Planet.

ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK.

What a beautiful laser beam!

I gotta hand it to these martians: They could really show the Mars Attacks! aliens a thing or two about cutting a rug.

Ack ack ack. Ack ack. Ack. Ack ack ack ack ack.

Images: Aqua Official YouTube Channel/YouTube (23); Kristie Rohwedder/Bustle (11)