I am about as threatening as a Polly Pocket. Like, if Sailor Moon and Hello Kitty started a girl band, I'd be on the glitter drums in the back with a big doofy grin. So yeah, more often than not people are a little shocked when I open my mouth and say "dicksh*t" in an arguably annoying, high-pitched, "I might be a 16-year-old posing as an adult in my twenties" voice. The fact is that I swear a lot. Like, a f*ck ton. Don't get me wrong — I reserve it for moments when it feels really satisfying (which is mostly always), and I can keep a lid on it in a situation where someone would be offended (hello, elderly men I befriended on the bus the other day). And in that same vein, I would never use a cuss word to deliberately upset someone, or even use one in an argument. (Your words are a lot more powerful sans cussing in moments like that, I've come to realize.) I'm more of a casual, laisée-faire swearer, and it's a lifestyle I highly recommend.
The thing is, if you're reading this, you're (I hope) a grown-ass adult. There isn't a problem with cussing up a storm every now and then, so long as you aren't tainting any innocent bb ears or saying something outright rude. In fact, I'd argue that cussing is actually pretty damn good for you, and might even make you among the best humans on this planet. And just in case you don't believe me, here's some f*cking science, y'all:
Swearing makes you inf*ckingvincible
Richard Stephens of Keele University conducted a study on people who swear a lot, and found that people who aren't afraid to rip a few actually have a higher pain tolerance, and are even perceived as stronger when they swear. Screaming "sunuvabitch" after you stub your toe is like the human version of going Super Saiyan.
People who swear are easier to be BFFFs* with
Research suggests that people use swearing to bond with each other more closely. So go ahead. Drop an F bomb on the first date. Nay, an F seige. Why braid each other's hair when you can live your life like a watered down episode of Girls? (*That extra F was not a typo, but an excuse for me to sneak the words Best Friends For F*cking Ever into a post.)
Swearing makes you more attractive
A survey showed that men and women both found swearing a turn-on, so long as it was within an appropriate context. Obviously this means next time you spot a hottie waiting for the train, you should just march right up to them and say "f*ck" like a broken record until they can't resist your salty self. (That's appropriate, right?)
People who swear are more confident
I don't have science to back me up on this, but f*ck science. You have to have a certain kind of moxie to not care what people think of you and your candid crap. That, and the mere fact that swearing makes us feel more in control of a situation projects a sh*tton of confidence.
We're ~creative~ AF
Get behind the wheel during rush with someone who swears a lot. Bring some popcorn, if you can. Then sit back, un-relax, and enjoy the show, because the sh*t coming out of our mouths is pure art.
We keep y'all on your toes, dammit
Guess who is gonna be prepared for the apocalypse? People whose friends were talking sh*t. (Like, swearing sh*t. Not the Mean Girls version.) Swearing is emotionally-charged, and "bad words" attract people's attention faster and hone their focus. When you're leading the last rebel band of humans against the sci fi-esque alien rulers that are harvesting our planet for funsies, your swear-happy friends will probs be the ones leading the charge. (JUST SAYING.)
Images: Universal Pictures; Giphy(6)
