In case you haven't heard, Kim Kardashian is writing a book. Don't worry, this won't be a repeat of the Jenner sisters' ghostwritten dystopian novel, though. Kim isn't writing a book so much as she's binding a collection of her best selfies. During the recent Keeping Up With the Kardashians Thailand episode we learned that Kim had taken 1200 pictures of herself over the course of the trip. (Who has that kind of time?) But apparently the more narcisstic side of Kim landed her a book deal from Rizzoli publishing. The 352-page picture book is called Selfish in both an amazing pun and dig at the Kardashian sister.
The cover of the book literally makes it look like Kim's middle name is Selfish because the title is sandwiched between her first and last names, but she probably doesn't care if she gets labeled as such, just as long as her $19.95 books sells well. It's all about the money, honey.
But I wouldn't expect the rest of the Kardashian/Jenner Klan to just sit back and watch only Kim's pockets fill with cash. If anything, they'll also take the plunge into the publishing world in their own time. So here's how I would imagine stories from the rest of Kim's family would be like.
KRIS JENNER - SELFISH: MOMAGER-STYLE
The family's matriarch is well-known for copying her daughter, from stealing her style to posting bikini snaps on Instagram just hours after Kim does. In her book, Kris will mimic every selfie pose that Kim does in Selfish and publish it under the brilliant title of Selfish: Momager-Style. The book will be a huge flop, but Kris will save face by buying most of the copies herself and wallpapering several rooms with the pictures.
KHLOE KARDASHIAN - KHLOE AND THE MYSTERY OF FALSIFIED BIRTH CERTIFICATE
Following her little sister's trend, Khloe will pen a mystery novel in the style of Nancy Drew where the main character tries to discover who her true birth father is. She'll overcome several obstacles along the way including an overbearing mother and a false DNA test.
KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - 101 WAYS TO COOK KALE
Health-food nut that she is, Kourtney will release a cook book in hopes of encouraging the show's following to eat a little better. But in an effort to still entertain the audience, the book will be illustrated with pictures of Scott Disick trying the recipes and making disgusted faces.
KYLIE AND KENDALL JENNER - MOMAGER DEAREST
For years the two girls have had to watch their mother dote on Kim, and now they're getting their revenge. After the Jenner siblings failed at fiction, they're turning to celebrity tell-all and it's sure to be juicy.
ROB KARDASHIAN - I'M HERE TOO: A BOOK OF POEMS
Rob will turn to poetry in an effort to channel some of his frustration of frequently being left out of his family. While the poems might not be the best, the therapeutic value they provide will make the book honest and raw and will win Rob a number of accolades. Finally it's his time to shine.
SCOTT DISICK - THE LORD IS HERE
It would be like The Bible according to Lord Disick where he gives helpful advice on how to make snarky comments, buy only the best of everything, and perfectly coif your hair.
BRUCE JENNER - INSPIRATIONAL WORDS FROM AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST
As a professional public speaker and motivator, Bruce will pen his thoughts on paper so his message can be delivered across the country. It will become an instant best seller in both the KUWTK fandom and for regular people because everyone of all ages loves Bruce Jenner.
Images: Kris Jenner/Instagram; wetpaint; teen; perezhilton (2); collegetimes; fallontonight/Tumblr
