Life

This Website Will Tell You What Ice Cream You Are

by Eliza Castile

Since its inception, the Internet has been put to all sorts of amazing uses: Connecting people across the world, allowing the instantaneous broadcast of information, and, of course, providing us with kitten videos upon kitten videos. Today, the Internet brings us yet another gem in the form of Talenti Gelato's Flavorize Me website, which tells you what ice cream flavor you are (excuse me, what gelato flavor you are. We're fancy like that). So, to recap: the Internet has brought about international human connection, scientific breakthroughs, kitten videos, and a way to tell us what ice cream flavor we are. I think we can all agree that kitten videos and ice cream supersede all else. (My apologies to social media.)

According to Refinery 29, Talenti launched its Flavorize Me campaign on Monday. Using your Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram (is there anyone left who doesn't have all three?), the campaign analyzes your social media presence to create a brand-spankin' new flavor in your honor. The algorithm runs your posts through a list of 25,000 common words that are then assigned to three categories: sweet, spicy, and salty. If that's not the most exciting thing you've heard all week, you probably lead a fulfilling life with interesting friends and family. Congratulations on your normalcy.

For the rest of us with no lives, though, this is freakin' awesome.

As if this wasn't fun enough, Talenti plans on creating real gelato based on the most interesting flavors. It's like a personality quiz result that will be eaten by people across the nation. What a time to be alive!

As someone with no life, I ran my accounts through Flavorize Me immediately. According to Talenti, my gelato self is 63 percent sweet, 20 percent bitter, and 17 percent sour, which is around 80 percent less bitter than I expected. Combined, these flavors create...

(Can I get a drumroll? No?)

...S'more Jasmine Tea Sour Orange. It sounds absolutely disgusting, and I love it. The algorithm also matches your personality to an existing flavor as well; mine was Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, although I prefer my custom flavor for the sheer gross factor.

Just like its product, Flavorize Me has an expiration date, August 22nd, and winners of the campaign will be notified by September 15th. Run, don't walk, to the Flavorize Me website to see what kind of ice cream you are. Then eat a bunch of ice cream, because being analyzed is hard work and you deserve it.

Images: blu_pineappl3/Flickr; Giphy (2)