Right now, hundreds of sex toys are dangling from power lines in Portland, Oregon in what can only be described as a true dildo whodunit. Portland folks are taking to Twitter, Instagram and YouTube to document dildos strung together and flung over power lines à la the more typically seen sneakers in the hood. Appearing in every shape, size and color, it's not immediately obvious where they came from or who is committing such a weird and semi-sexy deed, but one thing is for sure: Portlanders love it. They are lapping it up with a spoon, or, more accurately, a camera phone.
This is a bit of a mystery within a mystery, as it's not entirely clear why the phenomenon known as "shoe tossing" happens in the first place. Some say it marks gang turf. Others say drugs can be purchased beneath any power line bedizened with shoes. Still others say they signify a death, or act as a ghost-deterrent, or can even be a celebratory exploit upon the losing of one's virginity.
No one has come forward to take credit for the great Portland dildo caper, but it's already becoming its own urban legend. Users on /r/Portland are speculating like crazy, and though no one has any concrete proof, plenty of theories are being posited as to the latest effort toward "keeping Portland weird."
On Reddit, here's one take on the dildo provenance, according to a user named chronicENTity:
I heard a story at the bar earlier tonight. Apparently, there were some shipping containers stuck in limbo on the docks, due to worker strikes or firings? Anyway, one of them was supposedly filled with dildos and had been sitting in the sun, eventually damaging said dildos. Because they were damaged, they were written off. Somehow, some guy gets access to these dildos and has been handing them out since. I was told he was @ Last Thursday just giving them away.
I'm not sure if any of that is true, but my friends have been taking a lot of dildo necklace pictures, as well as videos of a bunch of dildos.
Who knows this dildo man? Where can I find him???
Basically this is Portland's version of a ghost story.
User FauxReal chimed in:
Nah, A friend of a friend of mine has a sex toy company. They ordered 10,000 dildos made but the factory screwed up and used a dye that is toxic so it would be bad to use those dildos over time. They gave the dildos to some people and those people decided to distribute them around Portland. Personally I think that's a bad idea as some people might decide to use them (hopefully washing them first).
So, if you find some dildos in the street. Don't use them.
According to some, there are experts in this field: Said user janeranier, "The one outside my house is so expertly tied on the power line, I figured it had to be a professional job." That said, it's not clear exactly whom an expert in tying knots would be — a former Boy Scout?
Predictably, people got more artsy with the whole thing on Instagram:
And:
And:
And:
En français:
Not everyone is whipping out (pun intended) their cameras, but many are still taking to the internet to tweet:
And, in classic Portland fashion, residents truly love it:
Adopting a particularly Portland-flavored YOLO vibe:
Last word on the subject:
Images: Pixabay; Twitter; Instagram
Want more sex? Of course you do. So download Bustle's app from iTunes for all the most recent sex and relationships news, advice, memes, and GIFs from around the Web. Guaranteed to fulfill you more than your ex.
