Books
11 Books Cher Horowitz Would Read
Ugh, as if! The love we have for Clueless is alive and well in 2015, even though the movie came out in 1995. You did the math right: that makes Clueless 20 years old this year. Does that make you feel old? Yes, yes, it does.
Regardless, Clueless is one of the most famous and well-loved movies of the '90s, and will continue to endure. Cher Horowitz was without a doubt a fashion icon at the time, and if anything, even more so now. The '90s are back, people, whether you want them to be or now. She is still a pop culture feminist icon. The friendships were central to the movie, and Cher was willing to put her friends before pretty much anything else.
Cher might have been totally over high school at the time, and sure, she thought Josh was a boring slug who hung around her house reading (at first). But I think given enough time, she would have come around to finding some amazing literary ladies to love, too. There are so many books today that Cher would have related to and absolutely loved. There are some lines in Bridget Jones's Diary that could have been written by Cher herself! So, what else would our favorite teen queen have read? I have some ideas. 11 to be exact.
Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding
Bridget Jones and Cher would have a lot in common, despite the age difference. The biting commentary, the few close friends, and the exceptionally high standards when it comes to dating. Bridget could impart some words of wisdom for the future generation: Cher Horowitz.
A Cher quote fit for the book: "I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M’s and like 3 pieces of licorice."
It by Alexa Chung
If Cher is known for one thing, even now, it's her impeccable outfits. The yellow plaid ensemble is iconic at this point, and some of the others aren't far behind. Cher would love to see what one of fashion's current It girls had to offer, and It is the perfect place for her to start!
A Cher quote fit for the book:
White Girl Problems by Babe Walker
White Girl Problems features a sparkling, rich protagonist with a penchant for shopping and Barney's. Babe Walker ends up in rehab for her shopping addiction, separating her from her 50 million Twitter followers, which, let's be real, Cher would definitely have. If Twitter were a thing in the '90s, that is. The real question is, would she see Babe Walker's "problems" as such, or something to aspire to?
A Cher quote fit for the book: "Where’s my white collarless shirt from Fred Segal. It’s my most capable looking outfit!"
Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling
Cher knows that her social status is what sets her apart: she's the school golden girl, but she needs to keep her appearance and friendships in check to keep it that way. Mindy Kaling's worries over similar things would be the perfect companion for Cher in her times of worry!
A Cher quote fit for the book:
Cher: I’m just having a snack at my girlfriend’s.Mel: Where, in Kuwait?Cher: Is that in the valley?
Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham
Lena Dunham shares what she's learned, a lot of which could be useful to someone like Cher, with all of her goals for herself. Not That Kind of Girl has proved inspirational and moving for tons of girls (and guys!) already, so Cher is sure to pick up a thing or two from someone with as much success under her belt as Lena.
A Cher quote fit for the book: "Oh, my God, I am totally bugging."
Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay
Cher was a style and feminist icon of the '90s, but that hasn't changed today. She knows she isn't perfect, but she works with what she has, figuring it out along the way. Roxane Gay's mentality would be perfect for Cher and all her imperfections that make her so well loved.
A Cher quote fit for the book:
Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh
Cher was nothing if not just a little dramatic. Sometimes. But then again, who isn't? Allie Brosh knows a lot about the drama, delivering it to us in the most hysterical graphic memoir. Cher would definitely empathize with Brosh, and laugh along with the rest of us at the illustrations, for sure.
A Cher quote fit for the book:
Girls in White Dresses by Jennifer Close
I picture Isabella, Mary, and Lauren of Girls in White Dresses to be Cher, Dionne, and Tai years in the future, still figuring things out together. This is the kind of book that would find Cher in college or later in high school, definitely after she's learned to drive, and had more time to figure out who she is and what she wants. Girls in White Dresses is funny and relateable in the same way Clueless continues to be even today.
We don't even need words for this one:
On Beauty by Zadie Smith
Cher would have a lot of interest in the lives of the Belsey family — from their social status to the relationships, and they various difficulties they face because of them. She has her own similar problems, after all, and seeing them reflected back at her in a book would give her some perspective!
A Cher quote fit for the book: "So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, 'What about the strain on our resources?' Well it’s like when I had this garden party for my father’s birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. ’cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin’. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier."
I Was Told There'd Be Cake by Sloane Crosley
Sloane Crosley hilariously talks about all the things that can (and will) go wrong in life, which would be the perfect thing for Cher, who always meant well. It just, didn't always work out that way. Josh thought she was selfish, but she was just trying her best — right? She'd have a lot of laughs reading someone like Sloane Crosley, and maybe even learn something along the way.
A quote fit for the book: "It’s like that book I read in the 9th grade that said, ‘Tis a far, far better thing doing stuff for other people.'”
Looking for Alaska by John Green
In a way, Cher would relate to Alaska's enigmatic, slightly elusive personality. She would definitely try to emulate Alaska's power to win over, and then push away the guys, because high school guys? "As IF." Plus, this is a coming of age novel that will likely be just as timeless as Clueless itself, and one most girls like Cher are sure to pick up at one time or another.
A Cher quote fit for the book:
Image: Paramount Pictures
