I've been so recently terrified by the ridiculous aggression of wild hippos that I forgot that there are other savage beasts in the animal kingdom. For instance, we all kind of know piranhas are hungry, ruthless sea critters, but I don't think we could truly understand just how much without seeing this video that shows what it really looks like to feed piranhas. FYI: they have literally no mercy. I'm pretty sure I watched a few of them eat each other by mistake. This particular pack of stone cold eaters come by way of Brazil, and I may be too terrified to dip even a toe in any of their waters for the duration of my human life.
I have so many questions about this video in particular, but the most pressing of them all has to be this: Why on earth are you feeding them?? They clearly don't have any trouble feeding themselves. Also, why the hell are there so many boats? If you knew that there were what looks like roughly a bajillion flesh-eating fish just below the surface, why would you ever be casually boating in that water? The next time somebody jokes about "feeding you to the piranhas," you should make them watch this, because suddenly the joke is not so funny anymore.
Here's the first food throw. I actually wasn't alarmed at this point. This actually might have been a bunch of fish reenacting the water version of me and my siblings elbowing each other out of the way when the pizza man rang the doorbell.
But by the second throw, things are getting decidedly ominous.
And by the third throw, we've pretty much opened a short cut portal to Hell.
Here's the full video, complete with the sound of what sounds like the oncoming apocalypse:
Just in case you're not totally freaked out yet, yes, piranhas can and will eat people. They inhabit South American rivers, and tend to hunt during the day, usually summoned large splashes. Swimmers are advised to wait until night to swim, and to distract piranhas by throwing a piece of meat carcass downstream from them, just in case you are ever in a horrifying episode of Survivor gone wrong and feel possessed to immerse yourself immediately.
I'm no scientist or anything, but here's my advice: stay the hell out of the water. Look at these TEETH.
Basically this is me being done with rivers forever, because unlike this guy who waded into a piranha-infested river with a piece of steak, I DON'T HAVE A DEATH WISH.
Images: Getty Images; YouTube (3)
