Entertainment
Which 'Friends' Family Member Was The Best? Here's Your Official Ranking
We can spend all day debating whether Monica is better than Ross (she is) or Joey is better than Rachel (he's not), but our energies are probably better put towards a more worthwhile activity: ranking the supporting characters. Specifically, the best legion of back-up players that Friends has to offer: The various family members of the core six.
Coursing through this list of Gellers, Greens, Bings, Buffays, and Tribbianis, we'll see some unseemly siblings, some forgettable relatives, and some wonderful mothers and fathers. Let's begin:
Jack Geller
Relation: Monica and Ross’ father.
Not only the highest ranking character on this list, but indeed the best character on Friends, period. Bouncing easily between a calm gregariousness and a pointed temper, Jack hosts all the plausible characteristics you would want in a father. He loves and admires his daughter and son, cherishes the simplicities of a good cigar or war story, and approaches the day with a gleeful bounce. Jack, you’ve really got it.
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Albert Einstein
Relation: Phoebe’s alleged grandfather.
Fathered modern theoretical physics, helped the Allied Forces win in World War II, wore loafers. Good dude.
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Leonard Green
Relation: Rachel’s father.
The most hilariously cranky jeerk you should ever hope to steer clear of at a gathering.
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Althea
Relation: Monica and Ross’ grandmother.
Although the Geller siblings’ nana died quite early on in the series’ run, she’s in fact a pretty important character to the narrative. It was she who bestowed her gigantic rent-controlled apartment unto Monica, who’d then go on to share it with Phoebe, Rachel, and Chandler. (Plus, as the series finale reveals, Althea shared the apartment with Ross when he spent a summer in New York City trying to “make it as a dancer.”)
Not only that, Althea’s tumultuous relationship with daughter Judy is what provoked the same kind of tension between Judy and Monica, which is in large part what makes Monica the neurotic, self-doubting, but ultimately lovable human being she is when we meet her in the pilot.
Plus, she died twice.
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Frank Jr.
Relation: Phoebe’s younger half-brother.
Adorably idiotic and large of heart, though it’s horrifying that he’s a father of three.
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Aunt Iris
Relation: Monica and Ross’ aunt.
Lover of poker, hater of small-talk. Affirms innocence in the vehicular manslaughter of Tony Randall.
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Gloria Tribbiani
Relation: Joey’s mother.
A loving mother and wife, self-assured pragmatist, wearer of big rings, and courier of fresh chicken.
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Frances
Relation: Phoebe’s grandmother.
Nonterminating bonus points for a funeral that warranted 3D glasses.
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Sandra Green
Relation: Rachel’s mother.
While NBC might have squandered Marlo Thomas’ character’s midlife crisis on a single Season 2 episode, there’s a sitcom of its own in her character’s long resisted grab at free living in the big city. (Hey, it’d be better than Joey.)
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Phoebe Abbott
Relation: Phoebe’s biological mother.
She likes pizza and the Beatles!
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Judy Geller
Relation: Monica and Ross’ mother.
Hypercritical, and adroit in the realm of shade. Seriously, she’s got weapons-grade shade.
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Leslie, Chandler, and Frank Jr. Jr.
Relation: Phoebe’s nieces and nephew.
A haunting metaphor for the tenuous nature of parental love, the ever impending emotional emancipation from the soul into whom you have poured your every morsel of human investment and care. So, yeah, upper tier.
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Charles Bing/"Helena Handbasket"
Relation: Chandler’s father. (It is unclear if he identifies as a trans woman or not, but the characters on the show consistently use male pronouns in referring to him, so I will follow suit.)
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Lily
Relation: Phoebe’s adoptive mother.
Lily’s is a tragic story; following her conglomerate romantic relationship with two Close Encounters of the Third Kind stars, she accepts responsibility of two children who are not her own. At some point, she married outside the triad, but her husband lands in jail for unspecified reasons. Around this time, Lily finds work as a drug dealer. Ultimately, she is overcome by the anchors of her mental illness and commits suicide, reuniting with her daughter Phoebe 15 years later after reincarnating as a cat named Julio. So, yeah, upper tier.
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The screaming conglomerate of nonspecific Tribbiani women
Relation: Joey’s sisters.
There are at least five more that we didn’t cover composing this bombastic mass. Apparently, they travel as one. It’s rather fascinating.
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Phoebe's stepfather
Relation: Self-explanatory.
Despite having been in jail for what is implied to be violent criminal activity for most of Phoebe’s life, he’s actually spoken of as a relatively positive father figure. The never seen, never named man would sell his blood to buy Phoebe birthday presents, taught her how to ride a box — in lieu of a more expensive bike — and is her first choice to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day (jail sort of gets in the way there).
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Cookie Tribbiani
Relation: Joey’s sister.
Avid fan of vodka cranberries and physical assault.
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Nora Tyler Bing
Relation: Chandler’s mother.
I feel suddenly compelled to buy Old Navy.
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Emma Green
Relation: Rachel and Ross’ daughter.
Regrettable taste in music. Otherwise fine.
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Dina Tribbiani
Relation: Joey’s youngest sister.
Gets pregnant, much to Joey’s chagrin. Points off for wearing fur.
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Aunt Lillian
Relation: Monica and Ross’ aunt.
Visits hospital when Nana Althea dies. Has one line of dialogue. Seems nice.
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Mary Angela Tribbiani
Relation: Joey’s sister.
This is Mary Angela… that’s really all I’ve got.
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Mary Terese Tribbiani
Relation: Joey’s sister.
Not, as Chandler initially believes, Mary Angela. Also kind of forward.
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Jack and Erica Bing
Relation: Monica and Chandler’s son and daughter.
Bonus points for being the biological spawn of Anna Faris and a happy little adoption story. But, all in all, they don’t do much.
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Joey's grandma
Relation: Self-explanatory.
Habitually answers questions not addressed to her, but makes a good tiramisu.
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Frank Sr./"Joe Hill"
Relation: Phoebe’s estranged biological father.
A total deadbeat (twice over), but gets bonus points for being played by the great Bob Balaban — plus, he bequeathed Phoebe with her genetic predisposition for mediocre songwriting
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Frannie
Relation: Monica and Ross’ cousin.
Didn’t invite Monica to her wedding. Even if Monica did have a sexual history with the groom, I’m not really sure how she expected to get away with that. These are Long Island people, Frannie. Word gets around with Long Island people.
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Joey Tribbiani Sr.
Relation: Joey’s father.
An affable adulterer. Ultimately, you can’t take too much issue with his transgressions, as even his wife doesn’t seem to mind.
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Aunt Millie
Relation: Monica and Ross’ aunt.
Always kisses Ross on the lips; doesn’t seem to have very much of substance to say.
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Jill Green
Relation: Rachel’s youngest sister.
Considerably less horrible than Amy, remarkably more horrible than most other human beings. Serves primarily to remind me that it’s been too long since I watched Election.
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Cassie
Relation: Monica and Ross’ cousin.
Really of no greater narrative or comic merit than seductive slow-motion hair-tossing.
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Ben Willick-Geller-Bunch
Relation: Ross’ son with ex-wife Carol.
Starts out all right, but only sours with age. (It might have been that bump on the head incurred while playing with Aunt Monica…)
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Alice Knight
Relation: Phoebe’s sister-in-law.
I know she’s funny and sweet and all, but she’s guilty of statutory for goodness’ sake.
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Aunt Sylvia
Relation: Monica and Ross’ unseen aunt.
Mean, critical, and uptight. The only silver lining to her legacy is that Monica inherits her tremendous dollhouse after Aunt Sylvia dies in Season 3.
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Amy Green
Relation: Rachel’s younger sister.
Cruel, selfish, and thick-headed, with misguided career aspirations (as Ross will assert, a baby stylist is “not a thing”).
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Ursula Buffay
Relation: Phoebe’s twin sister.
Consistently malicious, duplicitous, and emotionally withholding towards her kind sister Phoebe, and pretty much everyone else.
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