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Red Velvet Oreos Are Coming, And What Better Time To Rank All The Cookie's Different Flavors?
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As you may have heard, Nabisco has something rather special indeed up its sleeve, and it will be making its appearance just in time for Valentine's Day: Red Velvet Oreos. Previously believed to be mythical, much has been made of these glorious-sounding cookies since their announcement; they'll hit shelves on February 2, and sandwich cookie aficionados everywhere are simply cackling with excitement. I can't say I blame them; I've always had a soft spot for things that look like they should be strawberry-flavored and taste like chocolate.
In honor of the occasion, therefore, I've developed an incredibly scientific process (by which I mean there's nothing remotely scientific about it) aimed at identifying the definitive ranking of Oreo flavors. Oh, OK, maybe it's not definitive; not every Oreo that has ever been invented is featured, and the focus is mostly on those which were released in North America. Even so, though, I've tried to represent as wide a swath of Oreo flavors as possible: Both the familiar and the strange. So, counting back from 20 to one — that is, from worst to best — here they are. Agree? Disagree? I'm open to alternative rankings. All's fair in love and Oreos, right?
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20. Fruit Punch
Fruit punch? In a cookie? Uh… I’ll pass, thanks. They were a limited release from 2014, though, so if you’re less grossed out by them than I am, you might be SOL. Sorry.
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19. Watermelon
I feel similarly about the idea of a Watermelon-flavored Oreo as I do about a Fruit Punch-flavored one: Namely, blech, in spite of the fact that they were a limited release (2013 was the year this time). I dig the green and pink insides, though, which is why they rank slightly higher.
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18. Candy Corn
Apparently these are actually pretty good, but I still think they’re a bit too sickly-sweet.
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17. Pumpkin Spice
Not going to lie: I struggled about where to put this one. On the one hand, I do legitimately love pumpkin spice-flavored things; on the other, though, I think we’re a little pumpkin spiced out at this point. Sorry, PSO. We need some time to recover before we can truly appreciate you.
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16. Cookie Dough
I suspect Cookie Dough Oreos might be suffering from an identity crisis. They need some time to figure themselves out. Take all the time you need, guys.
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15. Banana Split
Let’s face it: Artifical banana? Not a good taste, although I suppose it does have a certain… wait for it… a-peel.
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
Good luck finding them, though. They were a fall 2013 limited release flavor.
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14. Caramel Apple
A Caramel Apple Oreo might sound weird, but I found the one I’ve managed to get my teeth around quite enjoyable, indeed (if not quite as delectable as some of the other available flavors). 10/10, would eat again.
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11. Double Stuf Heads or Tails
…two different types of cookies wins. Who choose between Original and Golden when you could have both at the same time?
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10. Berry Burst Ice Cream
I have a soft spot for the berry/chocolate combination. It’s hard to go wrong with that one. Way better than Banana Split.
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8. Birthday Cake
Birthday cake is kind of boring on its own — but birthday cake-flavored other things? Yes. So much yes. And not only that, but these babies are available with both chocolate and vanilla cookies. Well played, Oreo. Well played, indeed.
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7. Lemon Twist
Personally, I’m not really a lemon cookie fan; I know plenty of people who swear that the Lemon Twist Oreo was the best lemon cookie they’d ever had, though, so do with that what you will.
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6. Peanut Butter
A classic. Like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups in cookie form. Oh wait — those exist, too!
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5. Golden Oreos
Another classic, and a classic without which many other types of Oreos wouldn’t exist. A venerable institution, is the Golden Oreo.
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4. Red Velvet Oreos
OK, technically these guys haven’t come out yet — but I mean, come on. There’s no way they’re not going to be scrumptious, right?
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2. Cool Mint
Mint and chocolate is the Holy Grail of flavor combinations as far as I’m concerned, so it gets a spot second only to the be-all, end-all, ultimate Oreo flavor. And that flavor is…)
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1. Original
I mean, you can’t really beat the mother of them all, can you? Without it, none of the other flavors would have ever come into being — not even Golden Oreos — and for that? It wins the top prize.
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