Entertainment
'Breaking Bad' Obituaries for Walter White's Craziest Victims
With the end of Breaking Bad hanging behind us like a grim reaper of quality television, there's no time like the present to spend a moment eulogizing the ones we've loved, hated, and been shocked to see go during the show's history.
Perhaps the least-shocking but most heartbreaking of all those deaths came during Sunday night's third-to-last episode, wherein the series arguably lost its moral compass. Better to take time now to remember those we've lost along the way. From least-to-most heartbreaking, we've brought you the biggest, baddest deaths in Heisenberg's history.
Now for those who need it spelled out: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD. Ain't nobody you can be mad at but yourself if you click on without having seen Sunday night's episode "Ozymandias."
R.I.P. Krazy-8
Here lies Krazy-8, one of the first victims in the Heisenberg mythos. A drug dealer with a long history (and former association) with Jesse Pinkman, he leaves behind some family — but not his cousin, Emilio Koyama, a.k.a. the whole reason the mess of killings on this show has spiraled out of. He died brutally at the hand of Walter White, his body dissolved into nothing, like so many that have come after him.
R.I.P. Hector Salamanca
Here lies (in pieces), total nutcase and bitter old drug kingpin Hector Salamanca. Dead at his own hand by way of Heisenberg persuasion, Hector (a.k.a. Tio) blew himself and Gustavo Fring up in his eldercare facility to really show the world who's boss. He leaves behind him a trail of insanity.
R.I.P. Gustavo Fring
Here in the rubble of Hector Salamanca's doing lies Gustavo "Gus" Fring, meth overlord, cartel nuisance, and slinger of fine chicken. Gustavo's death was indirectly a result of his tension-filled relationship with Walter White (and also a direct result of Tio's bitter hatred for Gus). He leaves behind no one, because it's lonely at the top and Gustavo was smart enough to know that you have to live on the top of the mountain by yourself, lest those you love be used against you.
R.I.P. Gale Boetticher
Here in his apartment lies Gale Boetticher, science geek and unsuspecting meth cook. Gale idolized his unwilling mentor Walter White, but that adoration is ultimately what led to his death. (As well as that whole being the perfect patsy sort of thing). He leaves behind not much, save for the key connecting piece of evidence that ultimately led Hank to discover Walt's Heisenberg leanings.
R.I.P. Mike Erhmantraut
Here in this tub of acid lies Mike Ehrmantraut, wearer of many metaphorical hats in the world of meth dealings. Former Philadelphia police officer, Head of Corporate Security at Los Pollos Hermanos, hit man, private investigator, cleaner, and fixer, Ehrmantraut leaves behind his granddaughter Kaylee. Mike was killed unnecessarily by Walter White in an irrational moment of chaos. "Missing," but not forgotten.
R.I.P. Drew Sharp
Here in this tub of acid lies Drew Sharp, small child and tarantula enthusiast. Dead at the hands of Todd Alquist, he leaves behind his parents. Though not officially Walter's fault, his newly-gained accomplice (at the time), Todd, was following Walter's rules of "no witnesses" when he shot poor Drew in cold blood. Child deaths are especially traumatic, and this one felt especially unnecessary in the grand scheme of things as he at least seemed so especially unaware of what he just witnessed.
R.I.P. Jane Margolis
Here, in Jesse Pinkman's bed, lies Jane Margolis. Daughter to former air traffic controller Donald Margolis, Jane leaves behind her father and a giant Jane-sized hole in the heart of her former boyfriend Jesse Pinkman. While Jane's death is technically considered an overdose, we all know (and now, so does Jesse. Sniff!) that this one falls especially on Walter White's head, as her not being alive right now certainly is his fault.
R.I.P. Hank Schrader
Here, in this dusty pit in the middle of To'hajiilee, lies DEA agent Hank Schrader. Shot and killed by a white supremacist uncle of the latest meth king hopeful, he is the brother-in-law of Walter White and undoubtedly a death that falls on Heisenberg's dirty, dirty shoulders. He leaves behind his entire extended family and a hope that his won't be a death that occurred in vain.