Sandwiches, as we know, come loaded. Loaded with cheese, loaded with mustard, loaded with fresh veggies, and loaded with cold cuts. They're loaded with love, and most importantly, they're loaded with personality. Your personality, in fact. Whether you realize it or not, your favorite sandwich actually says a lot about you, and because November 3 is National Sandwich Day, there's no better time to explore the deeper meaning behind what you stick between two pieces of bread and why than right now. So sit down, because we're about to get deeply personal here.
Sandwiches, like snowflakes, fingerprints, and cloud formations, are unique. No two sandwiches are ever the same — but they're always delicious. They're also incredibly revealing. I don't want to brag and say I'm a sandwich expert or anything, but I have conducted years of important research (you know, eating and stuff), and I feel more than qualified to give you my full, semi-professional opinion on this matter.
The good news is you can't really go wrong with a sandwich. No matter which one you choose, you're making the right choice. Sandwiches exist solely to be enjoyed, so whether you like yours on wheat bread or on sourdough, toasted or not toasted, drenched with condiments or eaten plain, just know that I totally respect your choice — but I'm also judging you for it. From grilled cheese to tuna fish to meatball subs, here's what your favorite sandwich says about you.
1. Peanut Butter and Jelly
You are sweet. You are a crowd pleaser. There is not a single person in this world who doesn't look at you and immediately feel their hearts fill up with warm, fuzzy nostalgia. (Actually, you kind of remind people of their moms, but in, like, a really adorable "aww she's always there for me" kind of way, not a creepy way.) You can be kind of polarizing sometimes, though. One second you're smooth talking, and the next you have people grinding their teeth. Still, like a good DVF wrap dress, you are classic and timeless, and you will never go out of style. No matter what, people will always love you.
2. Grilled Cheese
You bring smiles to people when they think they may never smile again. You're like a gooey ray of sunshine on a rainy day. Being around you is like being around a hug. No, it's better than being around a hug. It's like being in a bouncy house full of adorable puppies. It's like being around happiness in its purest, meltiest form. You make people feel comfortable and safe. You also really, really like soup.
3. Turkey and Swiss
You're so chill, it's scary. You're probably the most laid back out of your entire group of friends. Seriously, drama, just stay away. You don't need a lot of fuss to have a good time. Oh, and did I mention you're pretty much a universal hottie? No one will ever say no to you.
4. Bologna
You are fearless. You are willing to try anything. You don't really know what's in bologna, and that doesn't even bother you. In fact, the mystery of it all kind of excites you a little bit. You're one of those people who chuckles vaguely to themselves whenever anyone asks you how your weekend went, because you want to maintain an air of intrigue, and you know what? It works. You keep everyone guessing.
5. Bacon, Egg, and Cheese
Mornings are tough on everyone, but we know the real reason you're clutching that bacon, egg, and cheese to your chest like your life freaking depends on it. You live to have a good time. Some people might call you a party animal, but you know that's just an outdated term from the early '00s that doesn't even mean anything anymore. Really, you just like to have fun. Actually, you're a lot like Beyonce. You know. Flawless.
6. Meatball Sub
Go big or go home. That's your motto. Yeah, it's a little cliche, but whatever. You have stage presence, man, and you never, ever shy away from a challenge. You hold nothing back. You're boisterous and unapologetic, and that's why people like you. Well, they like you in small doses. Sorry. You can actually be a lot to handle sometimes.
7. Tuna Salad
First impressions are a little hard for you, but once people get to know you, you're truly unforgettable. You don't click well with everyone, but those who like you latch on for life. Also, you're a huge hit with cats. No seriously, cats can't get enough of you. So whether or not you actually want to be a cat lady, you're probably going to become a cat lady. I don't know. That's just how nature works.
8. BLT
Honestly, you are an artist. You create beauty out of the simplest of ingredients. You're kind of like the bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich's, cooler, older cousin. You know how to have a good time, but you don't, like, overdo it or anything. You've never left your wallet in the back of a cab at 3 a.m. before, and even if you did it wouldn't be that huge of a deal, because you, my friend, are a problem solver. You know how to piece things together in a way that seems so, I don't know, effortless. Ohmygod. I'm so jealous.
9. Ham and cheese
You hate making decisions. Like hate making decisions. Your biggest fear in life is that someone will ask you a simple question like "where do you want to eat," and you'll try to suggest something cool and trendy like the new restaurant that just opened down the street that serves artisanal ice cubes or whatever, and people will immediately make fun of you. Luckily, you already have a ton of answers you've researched and prepared ahead of time to questions like these. You know they aren't show stoppers, or anything, but at least they won't totally suck, either. You tend to stick to the same tried and true options over and over again. That's fine, I guess, but just so you know, some people call this "settling."
10. Veggie sub
You're not really sure if you like veggie subs, or if you just like to think you like veggie subs. Either that, or you're a staunch vegetarian who sticks to your morals no matter what anyone else says, which is great. You're good at making the best out of a "meh" situation. You can bring together lettuce, tomatoes, and eggplant in ways no one else would dream of. Oh yeah, you're a total dreamer. It's kind of inspiring, really.
11. Caprese and Pesto
Iggy Azalea basically wrote the song "Fancy" about you (but you already know). You will never settle for anything less than the best, which is a good strategy, because you deserve nothing less than the best. People might think you're stuck up, but you know what? People thought Victoria Beckham was stuck up too, and she was clearly the best of the Spice Girls. So go ahead and just keep doing you.
12. Italian sub
You are a lover. There is not a judgmental bone in your body. You enjoy all kinds of flavors all at once, and even though people might find all that love hard to handle sometimes, they still keep coming back to you again and again. You are a bon vivant of the most exciting variety. People like to invite you to lunch, because for some reason, it always seems kind of wrong, but also so, so, so right.
Images: Brenda Benoit, jpellgen, adwriter, Larry Hoffman, Artizone, Robyn Lee, Mark H. Anbinder (2), erinpluskev, jeffreyw, Jackie Newgent, Lisa Lagman Sperl, Justin Henry/Flickr
