What Do Lady Gaga's Eyebrows Say About Her Mood?

Judging from Lady Gaga’s recent social media posts, we can surmise that the hair follicles on her brow bone have begun to sprout diamonds, jewels, and glitter. It’s difficult to tell with certainty why Lady Gaga’s eyebrows have been doing all these funky things lately. Just for funsies, I’m operating under the belief that this is an evolutionary trait belonging to those of her extraterrestrial species.

Counter to how a chameleon changes color to blend with its surroundings, Gaga’s “fancy eyebrows” are likely an characteristic developed to attract attention. Not to mention, communicate her mood. When she’s feeling relaxed, a curlicued lattice of glitter and diamonds forms on her brow. Anger transforms them into violent smears of red glitter. Happiness causes them to morph into tape-shaped disco balls, hundreds of clear jewels dotting her face like stars in the midnight sky. When in a state of apathy, her brows return to their resting state of peroxide blonde. I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and say that each one of these brow stages indicates fertility. (Nudge, nudge: Taylor Kinney)

Turning to the pop star’s Instagram, we can study this eyebrow/ mood correlation a bit closer. So, let’s play pop star National Geographic, shall we?

Relaxed/ Confident

The wings on her brows look either like temporary tattoos or black beads. Either way, they give off an air of ease and contentedness, while still saying "Don't eff with me, son."

Angry/ Fearsome

The red hue and convex shape of these brows indicate intensity and rage. She looks witchy, but also kinda like Simba immediately after getting baptized by Rafiki.

Happy/ Content

Rhinestones = positive attitude

Fertile/ On The Prowl

I'd like to call these the "stalking the prey" eyebrows. Fierce and exacting, when she furrows these babies, ya' better watch out

Nostalgic

Gaga is channeling Joan Crawford with these pencil-thin, '40s-reminiscent brows. Like the whole "Cheek to Cheek" classic jazz aesthetic, this is throwback Gaga.

Nonplussed

Every now and then, she goes back to being a blank canvas, with blonde brows or her natural dark...

Totally over it, right?

There you have it... The index of Gaga's moods, as demonstrated by her eyebrows. Now, if only we could get a look at any of these with the prosthetic horns from the "Born This Way" era. A girl can dream, can't she?

Image: Cartoonisms/ Tumblr